Update
My forthcoming book, Life in Five Senses: How Exploring the Senses Got Me Out of My Head and Into the World, will be published on April 18th.
If you’re inclined to buy the book, I’d really appreciate it if you pre-order. Pre-orders make a tremendous difference for an author and a book, because those orders do so much to build buzz with booksellers, the media, and other readers.
Because I appreciate a pre-order so much, as a bonus for pre-ordering Life in Five Senses, I’ve created an exclusive five-video series with quick, easy experiments you can use to explore your own senses. Find pre-order info and retailer links here.
(Don’t worry—if you’ve already pre-ordered, you can still get this bonus.)
Try This at Home
Aim to show up. Many of us have gotten out of the habit of showing up, or show up less often, or are more inclined to cancel. But showing up often makes our lives happier.
Happiness Hack
With your sweetheart, establish a code phrase for “Change the subject.” Something like: “Did you remember to call the cable company?”
Happiness Stumbling Block
Sometimes we get into arguments about who is right and who is wrong, when in fact, we’re arguing about preferences.
Listener Question
How does an Upholder deal with the constant questioning of her Questioner husband?
To find out if you’re an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel, take the free, quick quiz here.
Demerits & Gold Stars
Gretchen’s Demerit: I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed by the fact that I’m writing and editing so many little projects simultaneously.
Elizabeth’s Gold Star: She gives a gold star to our listener Carol who sent both of us bracelets with our one-word themes.
Resources
My new book, Life in Five Senses: How Exploring the Senses Got Me Out of My Head and Into the World will be published on April 18.
To thank people who pre-order, I’ve created a series of five videos with easy, fun home experiments that tap into the five senses. To pre-order the book and get the bonus, visit happiercast.com/FiveSenses.
Don’t worry—if you’ve already pre-ordered, you can still get this bonus. And GOLD STAR to you!
What we’re reading
Gretchen:
Hello and welcome to Happier, a podcast where we discuss strategies and hacks for creating happier lives. This week we’ll talk about why we should aim to show up and we’ll talk about why you might establish a code phrase for “change the subject.”
[Music]
Gretchen:
I’m Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness, good habits, the five senses, human nature. I’m in New York City, and joining me today, not from L.A., is my sister, Elizabeth Craft.
Elizabeth:
That’s me, Elizabeth Craft, a T.V. writer and producer living in L.A. But yeah, Gretch, I am in the Caribbean right now. I’m on a cruise with my writing partner and co-host of Happier in Hollywood, Sarah. It’s a research cruise that we’re doing, and we’re having an amazing time. And I got to try pickleball this morning.
Gretchen:
Oh, yeah. Everybody’s getting part of the craze and now you’ve joined it. What’s your two cents on pickleball?
Elizabeth:
Really fun. I need to look at the rules more so I understand it, but it was really good exercise. I mean, we played for half an hour and I was wiped.
Gretchen:
There you go. And you got your Outside 23 in 23 and, as well as pickleball. The update for this week: I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this, but I do have a book coming out on April 18th and now I’ve created a preorder bonus. Okay. The reason that I have a preorder bonus is it really, really helps books if you preorder.
It helps because it shows enthusiasm and excitement for the book with other readers, with booksellers, with the media. Preorders really, really count for the fate of a book. And so to encourage and thank people for preordering, because it is such an important thing, I created this preorder bonus. So if you go to happiercast.com/fivesenses, you’ll find the links to where you can buy it, where you can preorder, and then how you can access the bonus, which is five really fun videos that I created.
One for each sense about how you can tap into the sense yourself for something very easy to do at home. It’s really fun. This is just for people who preorder. If you get so many Gold Stars because you already preordered, do not worry, you will still be eligible for this preorder. I definitely don’t want to discourage anybody from ordering—order early and often.
So again, that’s happiercast.com/fivesenses and you can see links to where you can preorder and learn more about what the period or bonuses. And thank you everyone. So many people have already preordered and I appreciate it so, so very much. It really is something that really is a huge help to authors and their books.
Elizabeth:
Yes, I preordered, Gretch. Rest assured.
Gretchen:
You’re such a good sister.
Elizabeth:
And now, Gretch, Kristen wrote in about the Outside 23 in 23 challenge. We are getting a lot of response to that, having a great time with it.
Kristen said, “I love the Outside 23 in 23 challenge. It fits right into one of my biggest goals for 2023, which is, unsurprisingly, to spend more time outdoors. I live right by a public park, so I love to get in my time outside while I walk or run in the park.
“Today, I added another level to the challenge. I noticed a ton of litter around the park and decided that each time I’m getting in my 23 minutes outdoors, so I’m going to pick up and throw away or recycle at least one piece of litter. I can enjoy the outdoors and make it better for others in one go. Today I found and threw away two cigarette butts, one ancient Capri Sun packet and some plastic confetti.”
Gretchen:
This is so great. You’re outside, enjoying outside, and you’re doing a good deed and you’re sort of using your sense of touch as well as everything else. Or maybe, you bring a pair of plastic gloves, but I think that’s a brilliant idea.
Elizabeth:
Gretch, I have to mention David Sedaris, the writer who you know, I love so much. Who goes around the French countryside picking up litter. He gets in lots of steps and picks up garbage bag full of litter.
Gretchen:
Well, it’s so good. It’s like so many good things wrapped into one. It’s definitely something I want to add to my Outside 23 in 23. And speaking of #Outside23in23, tag us on social media with a picture of yourself in outdoor gear, whether you know, rain or shine gear. And maybe we’ll repost it because we’re highlighting how people are gearing up. No bad weather, just bad clothes. We want to see what people have on, so let us know.
Elizabeth:
Yes.
Gretchen:
So Elizabeth, this week our Try This at Home suggestion is to aim to show up.
Elizabeth:
Yes. So explain what that means.
Gretchen:
Okay. So showing up is showing up for whatever it is that you would show up to, because what is clear is that people aren’t showing up the way they used to do pre-COVID. And I’ve heard this in a lot of different areas. So talking to people about book events, they’re saying, “Well, we’re not getting as many people at book events.”
And when I talk to people who work at theaters, they’re saying, well, people aren’t going to the theater the way they used to. And I was listening to a podcast where they were talking about church attendance and volunteering, and they were saying, “Well, you know, it used to be that if 30 people signed up for some volunteer opportunity, we used to be we would get 25. Now we’re getting 15. Or people are volunteering once a month instead of every two weeks.” And in a way, that’s good, but in a way, that’s bad.
Elizabeth:
Right. What was clear at the beginning of the pandemic is that people had been feeling overextended, and in slowing down and staying home, they realized like, wow, I was doing way too much. But at the same time, inertia can take hold and you don’t show up for things that you want to be showing up for.
Gretchen:
Yeah. And you know, it’s understandable why. Because in the COVID and sort of later-COVID, you know, whatever you call these periods, we all got very used to having to bail. And that’s discouraging. Sometimes you make all this… and Elizabeth, that happened to you. You’ve made all these elaborate plans for different things, and then they had to be canceled many times.
So there’s sort of that discouragement and it also became acceptable, like I think people used to feel like it was much more of a big deal and now it doesn’t feel like it was a big deal. I mean, then habits were broken, like maybe you had season tickets and then you just got out of the habit of going and you’ve never picked up the habit again. So it’s easy to see how this started to happen.
Elizabeth:
Yes. And then, I mean, I think now some people have social anxiety that sort of come on from their isolation, which then makes them less likely to show up.
Gretchen:
Yeah. Yeah. And the thing is, it’s important to take care of yourself. It’s important to draw boundaries. Those things are true. But I do, at least for myself, say, aim to show up. Because I know that when I do show up, a lot of times I’m like, “Oh, you know, is it going to be worth it? Is that worth the hassle?”
But then when I show up, I’m so glad I’m so energized. There’s some kind of little adventure if I’m seeing people, that’s really great. And so I think that what I’m trying to say to myself is like, be mindful about what I say yes to. So don’t don’t recklessly go to things like don’t get overextended again, but then aim to show up.
Elizabeth:
Yes, Gretch, what strikes me about this is my mahjong game. You remember how I got so much out of playing mahjong every month? Then during COVID for a while, we played online. But, you know, we all just got so sick of Zooming and screen time that we stopped doing that. And, you know, now I’m like, well, how could I possibly fit in mahjong once a month because I’m out of the habit?
But I want to show up for mahjong. I want to do that. It gave me some pleasure. So again, it’s like trying to just like, remind yourself of all that you get out of showing up, right?
Gretchen:
Well, it’s funny how if something falls out of your schedule, you begin to think like, “Oh, like, how could I possibly do this?” Like, I remember every time I’m like, between jobs, like when I was younger, like, and had real jobs, I’d be like, I’m busy morning, noon and night. How could I possibly have a full-time job?
And then you get a job and you’re like, I can do it. And that extra stuff is really valuable. I mean, that’s what can a lot of times gives us a rich life. It makes time more memorable. Research shows that loose ties are very valuable. Say you’re trying to switch jobs or switch careers, a lot of times, loose ties bring you information and opportunities that strong ties don’t.
So loose ties are really important. And then there’s just the fun of it. As you say, it’s like, you know, mahjong is fun, but it just it’s like you got to, like, creak up the machinery.
Elizabeth:
Yes. Yes. And it is great. You know, we talk all the time about living in an atmosphere of growth. And a lot of times that comes out of showing up for things.
Gretchen:
No, exactly. And I think it’s also this tension between… you want to accept yourself and expect more from yourself. So on the one hand, I’m like, accept myself. I’m a homebody who loves to read and I love nothing more than to like, grab a book and read in bed for 3 hours. I love that. But on the other hand, I want to expect more from myself and say like, “But remember, you do love to go…” Go to a play and then you’re always glad you did.
And I’m lucky because Jamie’s really good about me, like thinking of things to do and making plans. He often doesn’t consult me, which sometimes is kind of a nuisance, but it’s really good. Like he’ll find something and be like, “Oh, I bought two tickets to this,” and I’m so glad because I do aim to show up.
Gretchen:
And so it’s great that he’s sort of supplying that energy. So let us know if you do Try This at Home and how aiming to show up works for you. Elizabeth, I think, I think the mahjong group is on your 23 for 23 list, right?
Elizabeth:
It is. Yeah. Yeah. So I got to get that going. I got to ramp it up.
Gretchen:
Yeah. And I have my monthly adventures that I need to show up for. So yeah. So both of us will be able to use our 23 for 23 list to get us to aim to show up. Let us know what you’re doing on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, drop us an email at podcast@gretchenrubin.com or you can go to the show notes. This is happiercast.com/415 for everything related to this episode.
Elizabeth:
Coming up, we have a changing the subject Happiness Hack. But first this break.
[Music]
Elizabeth:
Okay, Gretch, it is time for this week’s Happiness Hack, which is, “Have a code phrase for change the subject.”
Gretchen:
Okay, this is a hack that I wish somebody had suggested to me years ago, because it just occurred to me with Jamie and I was like, “Why did we not figure this out before?” Okay, so my hack for myself is to have a code that we work out that means stop talking about whatever you’re talking about. You’ve hit a sensitive subject, you don’t know it, but I do. And like, we got to change the direction that this conversation is going.
Elizabeth:
Yes. So an example we came up with is like a phrase can be, “Did you remember to call the cable guy?” And if you say that, it means stop talking about whatever you’re talking about.
Gretchen:
Yes. Yeah. And the thing is, if you have a code and your partner invokes it, you have to fall silent and ask your questions later. Because I know, like, I know Jamie so well, I predict that if I said that “You remember to call the cable guy?” he would just look at me and be like, “Why do I have to change the subject.”
It would just be way worse, right? Because then you’re like, pointing out that not only is it a sensitive subject, but that you’re acknowledging that it’s a sensitive subject. So if you do this, you have to accept the code phrase, you have to accept the discipline of changing the subject and the way this came up in our lives is: So we have a senior in high school, and I’ve seen this before with other people where somebody starts to start asking about the college application process, which for some people is fine.
And then for some people it’s just something they don’t want to talk about. Parents or kids or whatever. It’s like, don’t go there. They just don’t want to talk about it. Yeah, and fair enough. And you’re probably just asking to be polite or you’re trying to show interest or you can’t think of something else to say. And so it’s like you’re very unthinkingly, you know, making a conversation go wrong.
And so, but you could also mention, like you’ve got little kids and you’re sort of like, “I don’t think what you’re talking about is appropriate. Little pitchers have big ears. Let’s shut this down.” But of course, children, if they know that you’re saying let’s stop talking about it, they’re all over it.
Elizabeth:
Oh.
Gretchen:
Laser-focused.
Elizabeth:
Yes. When I try to veer a conversation away from something, Jack is all over. Yes. And he will not stop.
Gretchen:
Yeah. No, they, they, they, they look for that.
Elizabeth:
Yes. But it could be, you know, asking someone about their divorce. Or you know, about a job if, you know, they recently got laid off, or I mean just various subjects that makes sense that someone’s asking about. But you may know they’re not a good subject right now. Or grilling someone about are you going to have kids? And, you know, they’re going through fertility issues, things like that.
Gretchen:
Right. Because I do think sometimes people just unthinkingly are very inconsiderate. And so if you could just flag them. But it’s a classic thing of someone’s like, you’re kicking somebody under the table and they’re like, “Why are you kicking me under the table?”
Elizabeth:
“Why are you kicking me?” Yes.
Gretchen:
You pinch them. So you have to have the code phrase and like, “Did you call the cable guy?” I think that was your idea. And I think, A, it’s plausible and, B, it’s so boring. Nobody wants to hear you talk about it. So they will be just very relieved that the conversation gets shut down very quickly in some other direction. So let us know if you have a code phrase like this.
I am not sure that many people, like Jamie’s… I’ve heard of people having signals, like if you’re at a party and you want somebody to come rescue you, they have a signal that is like, “Come get me.” Jamie, I told Jamie about this and he’s sort of like taking it under advisement. I wouldn’t say that he’s totally bought in, but I will spring it on him the next time the opportunity arises.
Elizabeth:
Yes, I’m waiting for the right moment to suggest this to Adam. Because then the person has to remember you made this agreement, right?
Gretchen:
Right, right, right, right. Well, speaking of happiness, stumbling blocks… edging your way into an extremely painful conversation by accident, here’s another happiness stumbling block. Okay. This is something that occurred to me because something that I talk about a lot, I found, especially with habits, is preferences versus kind of efficiency and rightness. And I think the happiness stumbling block that’s worth considering is when you are spoiling for an argument or induced to have an argument or think that you can work it out about who is right and who is wrong in situations where no one is right and no one is wrong, it’s a matter of preferences.
Elizabeth:
Yes, and it’s often the case… more often than one would think probably.
Gretchen:
Yeah. And so like a way that this came up so is when I was writing “Outer Order Inner Calm,” you know, a lot of people are like, well, why should we make the bed? And I’m like, make the bed if it makes you happier. If outer order contributes to inner calm for you, this might be something that you really like.
Many people swear by the idea of making the bed every morning. But there’s nothing right about it. It’s a preference. If it’s a preference that works for you, this will make you happier. If you don’t care, if you’re like, “Why would I waste my time making the bed when I just unmake it every night?” Or if you’re like, “My parents forced me to make the bed every day growing up and I vowed to myself, when I’m a grown-up, I’ll never make the bed again. And I want to keep my vow”
Like, fine, there’s no right, there’s no wrong. It’s just a preference. But often people want to defend their preferences by insisting that they are right. And the fact is, then you’re just having a big argument that can go on forever.
Elizabeth:
Yes, this can go with what time one should go to bed or get up in the morning, how much you should be on your phone. I mean, there are many areas in life where it’s really a preference, not black and white.
Gretchen:
And this is really… maybe it’s because I’m an Upholder or maybe it’s because I’m a happiness bully. Maybe I just don’t have enough self-reflection. But I often catch myself in this. So for another example is Eliza and Eleanor don’t work at a desk. And for years I would say to them, “Why are you sitting on the floor? Why are you working on your bed? Go sit at a desk.” And they were just like, “We don’t need to sit at a desk.”
And I’d be like, “No, to work and to be able to think properly. You’ve got to sit at a desk.” And then I went to one of those, a shared workspace, and I noticed that they had a weird kind of sofa that I had never seen before, where it was essentially like being in a single bed, but it looked like a sofa.
Gretchen:
It had a high cushion back and you could stretch your legs out. And I’m like, “There’s furniture for this because this is how some people like to work.” Some people will work in their lap in an airport waiting room. And I’m like, I can’t even it like makes my head hurt even to see them. And yet there are people working away quite happily. And I’m like, “Right, because there’s no right way or wrong way.” My preference is always to have a desk. I would have a desk in the bathroom if I could. I always want to have a desk, but other people don’t have desks.
Elizabeth:
Yes, Gretchen. And I have to say, I am one of those people. I work in bed. I recently got a new keyboard and I said when I bought it, I said, “Is this a good keyboard for working, having it in my lap in bed,” because that is where I work. And they said, yes, it is.
Gretchen:
Because so many people do it, right? Because there’s no right or wrong. Yeah, I mean, I don’t know, Elizabeth, have you seen other situations where people argue about preferences? But then it turns out it’s just like, whatever.
Elizabeth:
Yeah. Another place where you see this is a writer’s room. Some writers’ rooms don’t even have a table to sit at. They have couches because some people… just a table makes them feel less free. They just want to be sitting on a couch and they want everybody to be sitting on couches.
Gretchen:
I would have to like, bring in a side table… and I could not do any kind of creative work without…
Elizabeth:
Isn’t that funny?
Gretchen:
Yeah, I have to have a desk. But, and again, this is just illustrative of… I mean, this, this I mean, back to the making the bed. This is often something with levels of clutter because some people are really weighed down by clutter and others don’t mind it or actually feel like it’s sort of freeing. There’s just so many occasions where it’s really a matter of preference, and I would love to hear from people about this.
And then, so here’s something that I would love to hear from listeners. Speaking of stumbling blocks, I am collecting examples of the small, nagging conflicts that people experience with the sweetheart, where it’s like, again, it’s like, what time do we leave for the airport? And you’re like, “We should have a 2-hour window, and why would we waste our time by being there 2 hours early?”
Or how often do we stop for a pit stop when we’re taking a road trip? Like, what are those little things? I don’t know why I’m interested in this, but I’m endlessly fascinated. What are those things that people argue about?
Elizabeth:
We all have them.
Gretchen:
We all have them. And now for a Listener Question.
Elizabeth:
Yes, this comes from Jessica. She says, “So I am an Upholder and my boyfriend is a Questioner. It drives me crazy. Any time I ask him to do things before he agrees, he asks a million questions. The simplest requests turn into what I feel is wasted time. A back-and-forth question and answers. One example is when I was at my mother’s and she had furniture being delivered, she just had shoulder surgery and the delivery people could not bring the furniture in the house because of COVID.
I called them to see if you could come help us with the furniture. And in the amount of time it took me to answer all the questions he had, he could have driven over to my mom’s house and we could have been moving the furniture already. How can I communicate requests to him that will cut down on this Q&A time?
And how can I stop feeling so offended by his constant questioning? I feel offended that the fact that I am requesting him to do things is not enough for him to do them. I feel that I am constantly trying to justify my requests. Any advice?”
Gretchen:
Okay. I 100% understand this because I am an Upholder married to a Questioner, and as an Upholder you’re like, “I’m asking you to do it. That’s enough. Why do we need to waste our time this back and forth? If I’m asking you to do it, that’s reason enough.” And I’m just here to say, as Jessica says, it’s not enough for a Questioner.
Gretchen:
You have to know why. And what I found is that in my question, I have to supply the reasons. And like, even if it’s something like by text, when I’m like, can’t I just save myself the time and energy of like texting it? I have to say why. And the more you justify, the better. So why am I asking you to do this?
Why I’m asking you to do it at that time? Why am I asking you to do it instead of a friend or my brother? Why am I asking you to do it today instead of tomorrow or this weekend? And the more you can say that, the more they will buy in because they understand why. I remember one time Eleanor was going… usually, she would have lunch, like through school, but when they went on a field trip, they needed to bring lunch and so Jamie was at the gym and I wanted him to pick up sliced turkey on his way home. And I knew that if I just said, “Hey, please pick up sliced turkey on your way home for the gym,” he would think, “Well, why should I? We have plenty of food at home. If you want sliced turkey, go getting yourself. I don’t see the point of that.”
Gretchen:
So I said, “Hey, will you pick up sliced turkey on your way home from the gym? Eleanor needs to pack a lunch for a field trip.” And then he did it because he’s like, “Okay, I get it. We need something to make a sandwich. Fried chicken leftovers are not going to be… she doesn’t want that.” And so that’s good. And it does… to and Upholder, it feels a little bit excessive, but it really does eliminate a lot of back and forth.
Elizabeth:
Yeah. And I think in terms of not taking it personally, it really is just speaking this and saying it’s not personal, hopefully this will help you not make it personal because it really isn’t
Gretchen:
No, it’s an aspect of the Questioner Tendency. And like sometimes it’s very helpful and I remind myself of that when it gets kind of annoying and draining and overwhelming, which is like, Questioners, they’re like this with you, but they’re like this with everyone. It’s not personal and there’s many benefits to it because they are the people that are like, “Is this the best way to do things? Why would we waste our time, energy, or money?”
But you do, especially with the Questioner, want to avoid anything that seems arbitrary, like we need to clean out the garage this weekend. Well, why this weekend? If there’s no particular reason, then don’t frame things that way. Because arbitrary is like a red flag for them. They will resist anything that feels arbitrary.
So you’ve got to explain why. But if you’re like, “My mom’s furniture is outside and it looks like it’s going to rain, we need to bring the furniture in so that we don’t risk getting wet.” It’s like, okay, I understand what you’re asking me to do this now. Or like, “My mother has no furniture in her house and she needs to sit down. But the movers won’t come in. We need to, like, get it, get it moved in.” It’s like, that’s why I’m asking you to do it now. And this is the Questioners have to learn that sometimes they do make people feel drained and overwhelmed and defensive with their constant questioning.
So it is like you say, it’s… I don’t know. It’s just helpful to know that it’s not personal well enough.
Elizabeth:
And if Jessica looks at herself, maybe she seems rigid sometimes and that makes other people annoyed. Everyone has their thing.
Gretchen:
Right no, like…
Elizabeth:
So you gotta work with what you have.
Gretchen:
You know if you’re snapping out orders of things that you’re like, “Oh, if we get all these things that it’ll be great.” And some of these like, well, why would you do that? I mean, it’s like back to there’s no one’s right, no one’s wrong. It’s like, yeah, we got to work things out. Absolutely interesting. And I so if anybody has any other suggestions, it’s this is something that comes up quite often. In my observation. The Upholder/Questioner pairing is very, very common.
Elizabeth:
Yes. Coming up, Gretchen gives herself a Demerit that she’s not sure is actually a Demerit. But first, this break. Okay, Gretch, it is time for Demerits and Gold Stars. And this week, you’re up with a Happiness Demerit.
Gretchen:
Yeah. So I don’t know if this is a Demerit or this is just like a stage of work that I’m going through because I find that I have so many things, so many documents, so many projects up and running. And I think, you know, because of my book, “Life in Five Senses” is coming out April 18th (preorder early and often)… and I just tinker and edit. And so I’ll have something open and I will write it and then I will edit it and then I’ll be like, “Oh, I’ll sleep on it.”
And then the next day I’ll write it and I’ll edit it and I’ll send it to somebody and like they format it, then they send it back. How does this look? And I’m like, “Oh, but now I need to edit it all over again,” because now that I look at it two days later, I’m like, “Wait, I don’t like the wording of that.” And so you can be like, well, that’s good because, like you really are always making things better, which is true. And it also creates a cascade of tasks where I’ll be working on something and I’ll be like, oh, well you know what I should add this to that.
So then I start working on that and then I’m like, oh, but you know, this is a good thing to put in there. And or that reminds me, I need to like… this would be an excellent point to put in this other place. And so then everything starts opening up and I’m just like, how many… I’m working on 15 things simultaneously. And at a certain point, probably… Elizabeth, have you ever had a day like this where like suddenly, magically, like ten things get done in one day?
Elizabeth:
Yes, that happens in television all the time. It feels very productive.
Gretchen:
Like so there’s like that moment of ecstasy. But right now I’m in the open document stage. And so I’m not sure it’s a Demerit because I don’t know that I wan’t…
Elizabeth:
It’s vexing you, maybe, it’s not your fault.
Gretchen:
Right. It’s just, it’s just a stage. It’s just a stage, I guess. But I want to remind myself not to fret about it and just to recognize that, yes, this is just a stage. Okay, good. Elizabeth, Gold Star.
Elizabeth:
So my Gold Star, Gretchen, is to our listener, Carol in Wisconsin, who made you and me and Sarah bracelets with our one-word theme, really pretty beaded bracelets. My one word is “Scale.” And so I have two bracelets that say scale, which is perfect for me because I’m very much using it in a literal and metaphoric sense. So I love having two.
So I’ve been wearing them every day and it’s just been a nice pick me up to remind myself of my word and a little gift from a listener. It was just really thoughtful. So thank you, Carol, for our bracelets.
Gretchen:
Yes, I have my “Wave” bracelets. I have two wave bracelets. So yes. Thank you very much. And the resources for this week. Okay, “Life in five Senses.” Now I can announce I have a preorder bonus if you go to happiercast.com/fivesenses, that’s “f-i-v-e senses,” and you preorder my book “Life in Five Senses,” you will get this preorder bonus.
You have to sign up. And it is this exclusive series of five videos where I talk about the five senses briefly and suggests a Try This at Home little experiment that you could do. These are really fun. Spoiler alert there is ketchup involved, but they’re super, super fun. Get everybody psyched up for it. And I have to say, if you are inclined to buy the book, it is such a help to preorder because preorders really build buzz with booksellers and the publisher and the media and other readers.
If you want to help a writer, preordering is a great, great way to do it. So again, you can preorder by going to happiercast.com/fivesenses and there you’ll find links to retailers and the link to the forum where you can submit your preorder information to get access to the bonus. And if you are… if you get like a Triple Gold Star because you’ve already preordered, do not worry. If you’re like, “How do I do this if I don’t like didn’t keep track of my order information,” you can still get the bonus. Go to the forum and all will be revealed. And it’s fine, because of course I don’t want to make it hard for the people who bought it right away to get the preorder bonus. So anyway. Yes.
Elizabeth:
Preorder, preorder.
Gretchen:
Preorder, preorder. I know, maybe I’ll write a little limerick about it, Elizabeth, back to our writing limericks…
Elizabeth:
A haiku.
Gretchen:
Yeah, a haiku. Yes. A preorder haiku. If any listeners want to write a preorder haiku, that would be great. Elizabeth, what are you reading?
Elizabeth:
I am listening to “Intensity” by Dean Koontz.
Gretchen:
And I am reading “We Should Not Be Friends” by Will Schwalbe. And that’s it for this episode of Happier. Remember to Try This at Home: Aim to show up. Let us know if you tried it and if it works for you. And where did you show up?
Elizabeth:
Thank you to our executive producer, Chuck Reed and everyone at Cadence 13. Get in touch. Gretchen’s on Instagram @gretchenrubin and I’m @lizcraft. Our email address is podcast@gretchenrubin.com.
Gretchen:
And if you like this show, please be sure to tell a friend that truly is how people hear about our show. Word of mouth is the best.
Elizabeth:
Until next week, I’m Elizabeth Craft.
Gretchen:
And I’m Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and upward.
[Music]
Elizabeth:
Gretchen, speaking of the five senses, one thing I’ve learned is that with the bracelets, I love the clicking of the beads, the sound of that.
Gretchen:
Oh.
Elizabeth:
A beaded bracelet. So now I’m thinking I might… I’m a beaded bracelet person, which I did not know what.
Gretchen:
And how and in what circumstances does it catch your attention and do you enjoy it? That’s fascinating.
Elizabeth:
Just throughout the day, just that clicking sound is very…
Gretchen:
Pleasing?
Elizabeth:
Both calming and like a little treat.
Gretchen:
Excellent. Okay. I’m going to pay attention to the clicking on mine.
From the Onward Project.