Update
The new app Threads just launched, and I’m really having fun with it. If you’re on there, follow me @gretchenrubin and Elizabeth at @lizcraft.
Try This At Home
Act like a teenager.
Happiness Hack
In response to Elizabeth’s demerit in episode 436, about how she’s been using meal-delivery apps too often, a listener suggests her solution: She gets take-out food whenever she wants, but she has to pick it up herself.
I mention Better Than Before, my book about habit change, and in particular, the Strategy of Inconvenience.
Ask Us Anything About Writing
We answered many questions from listeners about our writing lives.
I mention the laptop device that gives me two additional monitors: Xebec Tri-Screen 2.
I mention the Don’t Break the Chain Journal and the Happier app.
Demerits & Gold Stars
Elizabeth’s Demerit: She’s become so accustomed to audio-books that she has lost her stamina for reading a physical book.
Gretchen’s Gold Star: I give a gold star to the terrific gate attendant, with green glasses, who was working Gate A29 for the American flight heading from Dallas/Fort Worth to Newark on June 23. With his charm, honesty, humor, and good spirits, he did an exceptional job of managing a frustrated, impatient group of flyers.
Resources
When it comes to creativity, many people share the aim of wanting to do more writing. If you’d like to write more consistently, check out the Jump-Start in the Happier app. It starts on Monday, July 16th, 2023, and lasts for two weeks.
What We’re Reading
438
[Music]
Gretchen
Hello and welcome to a Happier A podcast where we talk about strategies and ideas for how to be happier, healthier, more productive and more creative. This week we’ll talk about why we might act like a teenager and we’ll answer the ask us anything about writing questions that people send in. I’m Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness, Good habits, the Five senses, Human Nature.
Gretchen
I’m away from New York City today. I’m in a little room that I’ve cobbled together full of pillows and makeshift stacks. And joining me today from Los Angeles is my sister, Elizabeth Craft, who became a professional writer before I did and showed me that it was possible.
Elizabeth
That’s me, Elizabeth Kraft, a TV writer and producer living in L.A. and currently I’m a writer on strike.
Gretchen
Pencils down. Pencils down. Before we launch in a few updates. One update for me is, as you may have seen, the new app Threads just launched and I am really having fun with it. If you’re on threads, follow me there. It’s fun to see how different approaches and different structures spark different creativity and different ideas.
Elizabeth
Yeah, Gretch. Follow me too. I’m at Liz Craft and you’re at Gretchen Rubin on Threads.
Gretchen
Yes. Follow us. Another update to note. A few weeks ago I mentioned that I gave the commencement address at my daughter Eleanor’s high school graduation. Very exciting. I will be posting the commencement address in the feed on July 15th as a bonus episode. So if you’re curious to listen, it will be in your feed.
Elizabeth
And then Gretch we got an interesting email from Heather about sisters and accountability. She says The inspiration of the Four Tendencies in hearing you to be such supportive sisters to each other inspired my sister and me to develop our own long term accountability system. We’ve been doing it for well over a year now and it’s working great. Each of us has our own daily ten point scoring system.
Elizabeth
The key is that they are not the same as each other. Mine includes things like meditate, avoid sugar, use my to do no book, get to bed by 11, do my PT exercises, etc. My sisters includes things like avoid salty snacks, avoid time wasting games on the phone, 20 minutes of me time. Our point systems are not fixed now and again.
Elizabeth
Each of us changes our system as our life or habits change. For example, I used to have a point for no eating in the car, but that’s simply not a problem anymore. I no longer think about grabbing a snack when I drive. My sister went from work X number of billable hours each day, She’s a consultant, to don’t exceed X number of billable hours each day because she has workaholic tendencies.
Elizabeth
The point is that every few months we review and update. Each of us tracks our points and reports by text daily. Often the texts are as brief as ten yesterday or eight missed exercise and bedtime. But sometimes we chat a bit more and exchange support and encouragement. Every two months we average up the points for the whole two months and the loser has to send the winner something in the mail.
Elizabeth
It can be anything. Just a card or a little gift. Doesn’t matter. Just a fun little surprise in the mail. We live in different cities and for years we’ve been close friends. But it’s only been since this challenge that we’re in touch on a nearly daily basis. It has brought us so much closer. It has helped both of us establish healthy habits and break unhealthy habits.
Elizabeth
It sounds grandiose, but it’s true. It has been life changing. Thanks for your great ideas and the cheerful companionship of your podcast as I work on my farm. Well, that’s fun to hear. Yeah. What an amazing idea.
Gretchen
This is great for so many reasons. First of all, as she said, it’s like deepening her engagement with her sister. They’re both giving each other accountability, which is great. And listen, it’s so funny to me because you and I often talk about getting a present in the mail for like a certain despondent mood. I just want to get a present in the mail.
Gretchen
Like, I just want something a little unexpected treat to come. So I love that that’s what happens if the other person’s doing better, that that’s your accountability. It’s so fun.
Elizabeth
It’s so fun. And it’s almost just a daily game with yourself. Yes. I love my Apple Watch and the Rings for the same reason. It’s just that little challenge for yourself.
Gretchen
Well, and if you need outer accountability, this is a really good way to create it in a way that’s easy and fun and flexible doesn’t take a lot of time and yet is consistent enough and specific enough. And the accountability is there so that you really follow through. So I thought this checks so many boxes in terms of a really good approach to habit change.
Gretchen
So well done. Yes.
Elizabeth
Thank you, Heather.
Gretchen
Do try this at home. Tip this week is to act like a teenager.
Elizabeth
And you’re talking about the good parts Gretch. Not the part where your emotions are up and down and you’re slamming doors and overly hormonal. Right.
Gretchen
Well, and we’ve talked about sort of adjacent try this at home before. So we’ve had treat yourself like a toddler, which is what I need to do. I need my sleep. I can’t get too hungry. I can’t get too cold or too hot. Then there’s treat yourself like a puppy, which is you wouldn’t deprive your puppy of healthy food.
Gretchen
You wouldn’t make your puppy work all day long without time for playtime and leisure. You wouldn’t drag your puppy around and not take good care of your puppy. So treat yourself like a toddler. Treat yourself like a puppy, and now act like a teenager. The good parts of a teenager.
Elizabeth
Yeah. So what do teenagers do that’s good. I love this because I feel like people are always giving teenagers such a hard time. So it’s nice to focus on all the good parts about teenagers.
Gretchen
Yes. That they do a lot of things that are really happiness boosting. One thing that teenagers do is they listen to music. I think for a lot of people, when I was writing Life in Five Senses, I realized for so many people, music is a really big part of their life, much more than it was for me as somebody who neglects my sense of hearing.
Gretchen
But many, many adults would say, like I used to play regularly, I used to be in a band, I was in chorus, in high school, in college I would go to concerts. It’s something that often, for whatever reason or circumstances, lead us to spend more time playing music, listening to music, going to concerts. And if this is something that makes you happy, it’s a great thing to bring into your adult life.
Elizabeth
Yes. And then teenagers also talk to their friends often for hours on a daily basis. Yeah.
Gretchen
And so if you’re feeling detached from your friends, maybe you just need to pick up the phone more or engage more. Here’s something funny. And again, this is from Life in Five Senses. I was talking to a therapist and she was saying how people and she often treats teenagers that they will self-soothe with potions and lotions and applying makeup and taking makeup off or putting on nail polish and taking it off or doing their hair in a million different ways.
Gretchen
And I think as an adult, you often see that is tied to vanity or consumerism in a bad way. But she was pointing out that it can be very soothing because it’s like, you know, I’m a hair twister and I do that to calm down or like the way people rub their arms or wring their hands as a way to self-soothe.
Gretchen
So that’s something that teenagers do that is beneficial that we can tap into or just thinking of these things as being a creative outlet. It is fun to paint your nails a different color, and it’s a little bit of creativity in everyday life. And so maybe that’s something that if you did it as a teenager and you really enjoyed it, that might be something that you would enjoy acting like today.
Elizabeth
Yeah, I should try that, Gretch, Because you remember when I was a teenager, I spent hours painting my nails.
Gretchen
Always.
Elizabeth
Always painting my nails.
Gretchen
Elizabeth has the fastest growing, strongest, most beautiful nails. It is true. And it is also true that you spend hours doing that. I kind of forgot about that.
Elizabeth
And now I just keep my nails basically short and plain because I don’t want to deal with it. But maybe I should get into doing my nails.
Gretchen
But maybe this is the kind of thing with the strike that it would be some new thing that would soothe you and give you a little bit of fun and creativity, a little bit of whimsy and tap into that teenage activity.
Elizabeth
And then they also do things like play pickup basketball, throw the ball for their dog, play different games, puzzles.
Gretchen
Yeah.
Elizabeth
So all of those are things we could do.
Gretchen
Yeah. When I think about what I did as a teenager that I could do today, that would be fun is first of all, as a teenager, I would do spontaneous things with friends. It would be school and it’d be like, Oh, let’s go look for a shirt at the plaza. Or, you know, we would do something spontaneously. Now, I do not love spontaneity as an upholder, but even I sometimes think it’s fun to, like, do something on the fly or This is something that I used to do that I loved and I really could do it now, which is to do errands with friends.
Gretchen
I did that in high school. I’d be like, Oh, my mom is saying I have to go do X, Y, Z. Why don’t you just come along with me? And I’d be like, Yeah, Saturday afternoon, I’ll come with you. It would turn it into this whole fun thing. They do some errands. I did some errands. That’s definitely something that I could do with a friend now.
Elizabeth
Yeah. Another thing, speaking of that, is that we used to just go hang out at each other’s houses in a very mellow down time kind of way. Yeah. Just hanging in someone’s bedroom for 6 hours, you know, again, listening to music, talking, reading magazines, calling other friends. Maybe that’s part of why you like cleaning out people’s closets. It is that downtime and somebody’s personal space.
Gretchen
Well, exactly. And you’re not being entertained. I think we’re so hung up on the idea of entertaining. And as an adult, when somebody comes over, you’re like you’re entertaining them as a kid. I mean, maybe because your parents have to have the responsibility of like, oh, let’s offer them a healthy snack. You’re just hanging out. Yeah. The one thing that my daughters do with their friends and this is something also that can be fun.
Gretchen
They just watch silly TV, some silly reality show. It’s not TV where you have to like, watch every move and everything, but it’s just some competition show and it’s something to do. You laugh about it, you’re talking about it, you’re just talking about anything. Again, it’s just hanging out, not doing much. But I think you’re right about the cleaning the closets.
Gretchen
I hadn’t thought about it. It’s a way to just hang out with a friend for a couple of hours.
Elizabeth
Yeah, and it’s a closeness again. You don’t get at a restaurant. Yeah, it’s just not the same thing.
Gretchen
It’s not the same, you know, being in someone’s bedroom, hanging out like that, it’s different. We never go in any friends’ bedrooms now. It’s too private.
Elizabeth
Never no. Exactly. Now, Gretchen, another thing, though, that I did a lot as a teenager, which I want to get back into and I think you are getting back into, which is spending time thinking about your outfit.
Gretchen
Yeah. Yes. Planning it out.
Elizabeth
Doing that. Am I trying to make myself think about my outfit rather than literally just put on leggings and a black T-shirt?
Gretchen
Yeah, well, I’m finding it fun and again, like a creative expression, and it does change your feeling about what you’re doing If you’ve put together a little bit of an outfit.
Elizabeth
The other night, Adam and I were going to dinner, and normally I would just say, I can wear what I’m wearing, right? Which is again, like leggings, a t shirt. And instead I went and I spent 10 minutes, wasn’t even a long time figuring out an outfit. And I wore white pants and a white shirt and cute sandals.
Elizabeth
And that jewelry looked great.
Gretchen
You sent me a photo.
Elizabeth
You know, it totally changed the night from just going to dinner and to more of a feeling like we were on a date because I was wearing an outfit. So it was just really nice. And then when I changed, he changed. So he also looked nicer.
Gretchen
Well it elevated it a little bit.
Elizabeth
Yes, absolutely elevated.
Gretchen
What if you would go out to the movies with friends? You’d put on an outfit?
Elizabeth
Yes.
Gretchen
Yeah. These are very specific things. And we love the specific and the practical. But I guess the more abstract thing is to try to give yourself a break from adult worries. Teenagers are sort of beset with their own worries, and that’s a challenging time of life. I think most people would agree. But there’s a certain kind of thing that they don’t worry about.
Gretchen
They’re not worrying about adult worries, for the most part. Can you tap into these activities as a way to try to recapture, yes, certain kind of carefreeness. That would be a good respite from the usual preoccupations of adult life.
Elizabeth
Yes.
Gretchen
So let us know if you do try this at home and how acting like a teenager works for you. And what are you doing to act like a teenager? How are you recapturing that teen spirit? Let us know on Threads. We’re on.
Elizabeth
Threads.
Gretchen
Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, Facebook. Drop us an email at podcast@gretchenrubin.com Or as always, you can go to the show notes. This is happiercast.com/438 for everything related to this episode.
Elizabeth
Coming up, we’ve got a happiness hack related to food delivery. But first this break.
[Music]
Gretchen
Okay Elizabeth, is it the happiness hack. And Elizabeth this is a hack that’s perhaps especially useful for you.
Elizabeth
Yes, I love this. It comes from Olivia. She said I just finished listening to episode 436 where Liz gave herself a demerit for using meal delivery apps too frequently., When I’m feeling tempted to press the easy button on dinner, I give myself permission to get food from a restaurant, but I have to go and pick it up myself.
Elizabeth
No delivery. Usually by the time I’m considering delivery, I’m dangerously hungry, so having the food brought to my door seems like the simpler option. But the extra step of having to pick up the food myself provides just enough friction to dissuade me. Often, I think to myself by the time I get in the car, pick up the food and drive back, I could be done eating something I make at home.
Elizabeth
Other times I want to eat out because I’m craving one of my favorites, and that’s totally allowed. As long as I drive there to get it.
Gretchen
So this is really, really a good strategy now in my book Better Than Before, which is all about how we make and break habits, I identify 21 strategies and two strategies are paired and they are among the most universal strategies. They work for just about everyone, and it’s the strategy of convenience and the strategy of inconvenience. And so what Olivia is doing here is she’s using the strategy of inconvenience by saying it’s too easy to do something that I don’t want to do.
Gretchen
So I’m going to make more friction. I’m going to make it less convenient. I still can do it. So I’m not saying no to myself. For some people, they really don’t want to say no to themselves. So she’s not saying no to herself. She’s just making it more of a pain. And there’s all this research. It’s hilarious. Research showing that if things are even slightly less convenient, we are less likely to do them.
Gretchen
And if they are even slightly more convenient, we are more likely to do them. And so this is something that you can use, whether you want to encourage yourself to do something or discourage yourself from doing something, you either make it more or less convenient. And this is a great example for exactly the challenge that you were facing Elizabeth.
Elizabeth
Yes, and the added bonus is if you do go pick it up, it’s much less expensive than having it delivered. So if you do pick it up, you’re also saving money because the apps are very expensive. So, Olivia, great idea. I’m going to talk to Adam and get us to implement this..
Gretchen
And now Elizabeth ask us anything about writing? This is so fun. And speaking of Threads, a lot of these questions came to us on Threads.
Elizabeth
Yes, this comes from Michael. He said, Elizabeth, how does writing a novel differ from writing TV? Is doing one preparation for doing the other, or are they really different? Very different for me, Gretchen. I think writing a novel right now feels harder because I haven’t done it the way I’ve been writing TV often, so that feels much easier writing it.
Elizabeth
TV is all about using as few words as possible. That’s one of the main things is being brief. We’re of course, in novel writing. You can use a lot of words and it feels like, Oh my gosh, how am I going to fill up all these pages with words? Of course, then what I find myself doing is overwriting because I’m trying to fill up pages.
Elizabeth
So then I have to go back and cut a lot of words. So it’s just funny because in television it has to be in dialogs at the end of the day, whereas in a novel you can really get into the interior monologue, which I loved that part. That part’s really fun. So they’re very different, very challenging in different ways.
Elizabeth
And also one thing that’s fun about writing a novel is you don’t have to think about the cost. Yeah, something can explode. You can have 500 characters, you can travel the world because it all costs the same amount to print the page. Whereas we spend so much time when we’re writing television, thinking about production. So it’s very different.
Elizabeth
It’s a lot of fun. But also, as you know, I find it extremely intimidating because I think it’s hard to keep someone’s attention reading a novel. It feels like a big responsibility. So hopefully something that I’ll be sort of dealing with for a long time is both of these things.
Gretchen
So these two questions are related. So Joe asks, do either of you write by longhand, or do you only use computers? So I feel more creative when I write with a pen, a notebook, but I can type faster than I write. So I wonder about the trade off. But Elizabeth I don’t know about you, but we both have terrible, terrible handwriting.
Gretchen
I really can’t read my own handwriting very well. So anything that’s useful I put on the computer 100%. I type very fast. I’m like a senior typist. So far faster than I could handwrite. And then I can search it and cut and paste it. So I don’t do anything important by longhand. How about you?
Elizabeth
Same. The only thing I write in longhand are like notes to myself about podcast segments that come to me. That’s it.
Gretchen
So there’s just like, quick notes, not like a running document, nothing. And then related policies, do you sit at your desk at a prescribed writing time, even if you don’t have a clear idea of what you’ll write? Yes, I do. I definitely will sit. I will always just be puttering around with stuff. If I don’t know exactly what I’m going to write.
Gretchen
I’ve always got a lot of stuff to do, so I will. I just head to my desk. How about you, Elizabeth?
Elizabeth
I don’t, but I probably should. It’s funny because when my job, if I’m working, you know, I have so many things to do. Writing gets fit in wherever I can.. And I think that’s part of what I struggle with writing the novel is I don’t have these prescribed times, so I probably should.
Gretchen
I mean, the thing about being a show runner is it’s just like, go, go, go, go, go. And there’s a million plates that are spinning and it’s so intense and it’s multifaceted. And now you’re sort of writing a novel and it’s a big it’s like that very, very different set of muscles.
Elizabeth
Yes, it really is.
Gretchen
And then from Threads, someone with the handle sometimes a writer B asks, How do you restart a project? I have a novel I’d love to finish. I started it a few years ago in life, interrupted my momentum and it’s been languishing for a while.
Elizabeth
That’s a good question, Gretch. What would you say?
Gretchen
I would say get back into it. Set aside some time every day, like use all your habit formation things to make sure that you’re making consistent time for it and then just reread it, get back into the project and read through the whole thing without editing it. And then find what ways, how you want to start engaging. Like, do you want to pick up and start writing again?
Gretchen
Do you want to start at the beginning and edit? A lot of people do that to get back into a project, and I have to say this can be one a situation where it’s not a bug, it’s a feature. Many writers, if they can afford it, they will take the time, put something away for six months or a year because they think that when they come back to it, they’ll have a fresh eye and they’ll be able to take it up a level.
Gretchen
So this is the kind of thing where like in the end it might be to the benefit of your creative project that you’ve had a little bit of distance from it. Danny Shapiro With Signal Fires, remember Elizabeth? She was telling us about that. She put it away for a long time. Then she came back to it and it gave her this whole fresh outlook on a novel.
Gretchen
So it can be a good thing. But you have to get back into it, obviously.
Elizabeth
And I do think rewriting is a good place to start because I find rewriting infinitely easier than writing and more fun personally.
Gretchen
Yeah, you might want to read the whole thing because you don’t want to start editing, but I agree. Editing is so much easier and more fun than writing, at least for us. Luke Stephen 714 also from Threads says I wish I had a writers room or at least a writing partner. What tips to have for solo writers who need inspiration, collaboration, accountability, and just plain help to keep going or get through a rough patch?
Elizabeth
Well, Gretch, I mean, you have a writing group that I think you find super helpful. And I think for Solo writers, that’s got to be essential.
Gretchen
Yeah. And my writer’s group isn’t about really the process of writing. It’s more about the profession of being a writer because there’s a lot of things that come up that you sort of don’t know how other people are handling it. Both of us also, they’re big fans of being in groups, but this sounds to me like a straight up accountability problem.
Gretchen
So I think unfurl the list of accountability strategies, use the Happier App, the Don’t Dreak the Chain journal. There’s a lot of tools to use. Once you’re thinking what I need here is external accountability. That’s what’s going to keep me on track. So I would head to those.
Elizabeth
Yeah, and ultimate accountability. Take a class. That’s another thing we’ve talked about. Take an online writing class where you have to turn stuff in and most of us want to be a good student.
Gretchen
That’s right.
Elizabeth
And Mullally says, I’d love to know how writing time is split among different writing activities, like researching, drafting, editing, etc.. Oh, that’s interesting. I don’t really have a set time Gretch. I just if I need to look something up, I look it up. If I need to write, I write. How about you? You spend a lot of time on research.
Gretchen
I do, but I have no sense of how I spend my time or like, how much is podcast and how much is the book and how much is this and a newsletter. I have no idea. Where am I? How much am I reading? I have no idea. And my friend Laura Vanderkam, who’s like a time use expert, keeps saying to me, Track your hours, track your time, You’ll get all these insights.
Gretchen
And I just have never done it. I guess it’s maybe the lawyer in me doesn’t want to do time tracking. I don’t know for both of us Elizabeth, it it just sort of works out. We don’t overthink it and we just do what needs to be done. Yeah. So maybe that’s the thing is you don’t have to have necessarily a plan.
Gretchen
You just have to think about what you need to get done.
Elizabeth
And Michael asks, How do you take your work from a single idea thought line into a full fleshed out piece? Well, I mean, isn’t that the million dollar question? I, I mean, for me, because I work with a partner, it’s a lot of talking. We go from an idea to notes for a pitch to a pitch to an outline, and we all talk about a scene and then go off and write the outline for that scene, like take turns and then we go to script.
Elizabeth
So it’s a long, many step process and I think it’s similar for the novel as well. I mean, we did the same thing, idea to discussing it with notes to making something more formal. How about you, Gretch?
Gretchen
So for me, like, I’ll have an idea or I have often a question that I want to answer or like something that I want to figure out. And I always start with research. So it’s tons and tons of reading, which just means tons and tons of note taking, often throwing spaghetti against the wall. Anything that appeals to me, anything that strikes my interest, anything that surprises me.
Gretchen
So there’s a lot of note taking that ends up just never paying off because it represents dead ends. And then at a certain point, I’ll know a subject well enough that I’ll be like, Wow, I have a theory of the case. Like with habit formation. I’m like, I’m starting to have my own views about this stuff. And then it’s the problem of the structure.
Gretchen
And the structure is always very, very, very difficult to figure out. I think if you look at my books, you would think she just picked the most obvious structure there is every time it was months of labor to get it. And then I realized, well, I need to do more research on this because I don’t really know the answer to that or this is something where I have got way too much on one thing and not nearly enough on something else.
Gretchen
And so once I have the structure, then I start seeing what I need to fill out. And then often we were talking about cutting out stuff. There’s often a huge amount of cutting out. I mean, for my book Life in Five Senses, I cut out probably three times as much finished material that was in the book that ended up coming out.
Gretchen
That thing I love so much on the cutting room floor. So that’s a big part of it, of getting to the final thing too, is what do you leave out?
Elizabeth
Yes. Oh, yes.
Gretchen
People often ignored that part in talking about writing. A lot of it is cutting.
Elizabeth
Yes. Yes. And Aaron wants to know, Gretchen, what’s the name of the monitor thing you like?
Gretchen
Oh, yes. This is the thing that if you have a laptop and you want to have three screens instead of just one, I don’t know how to pronounce it. It’s like X back or Z back X, EBC try screen two. This is not an ad, I am just a fan.
Elizabeth
And finally, our last question comes from Melissa. She says, Let’s say you want to write about a personal experience that close friends and or family might be offended by other than changing the names. How do you approach that? Well, you and I are people who do not like to do this. We do not write anything that we think someone that we know we’ll be offended by.
Elizabeth
However, this is a question that comes up a lot. One thing I know people do is they change more than the name. They change other details. So a different job, a different gender, if possible, different place in the country where the person lives so that you really can’t tell who it is. Now, that person, though, if it’s depending on what the story is, they still might recognize themselves.
Elizabeth
So essentially, you have to ask yourself, am I okay with this? And writers feel very differently about that. Yes, some people feel this is my lived experience and I’m going to write what I want to write. And other people will show somebody a chapter in a book and say, Are you okay with me publishing this? So it’s really comes down to your personal philosophy.
Gretchen
It really does. Absolutely. 100% Very well said. Well, what a great bunch of questions. This is so fun to think about. Thank you for everyone who sent in and ask us anything.
Elizabeth
Yes, Thanks, everybody. Coming up, speaking of writing and reading, I have a reading related demerit. But first, this break.
[Music]
Gretchen
Okay. It’s time for demerits and gold stars. This week, Elizabeth, your turn to talk about a demerit. What is this reading related demerit?
Elizabeth
Okay, Gretchen. Well, you know, I’ve been touting my love for audiobooks. Yes, And I’ve been listening to a ton of audiobooks, which has been wonderful. However, I think I’ve tipped so far into listening to audiobooks that now I’m having trouble keeping my focus to read an actual book in my hands. Because when I’m listening to a book, I can do other things, I can be getting ready, I could be playing a game on my phone, I could be making a snack, whatever it may be, walking.
Elizabeth
But reading, you really just have to sit there and read. So I think I need to work on my reading muscles and get them back because I also love to sit with a book and read and I don’t want to lose that.
Gretchen
Okay, I have a suggestion for you.
Elizabeth
Oh, okay.
Gretchen
So you love to read by the pool on vacation? Yes. That is the apex of the holiday feeling.
Elizabeth
Yes.
Gretchen
So maybe if you’re finding it hard to get into it the next time you’re like in that situation, really, really make time for it and really say, okay, this isn’t just for fun, but this is part of my re engagement because you’ve always loved it your whole life. I think once you get back into it, especially if there’s a book that you really love.
Gretchen
Yes. You think I can’t listen to this book? I have to read it. You will. It’s like riding a bike. It will come back. But you do have to just sit still and read. I mean, I feel like I exercise sometimes so that I’m not so restless that I can actually sit down and read for many hours.
Elizabeth
Yeah, that’s a really good point. All right, well, I will try that, Gretchen. I will report back what is your gold star?
Gretchen
Okay, This is a gold star that I’m giving to someone whose name I do not know, but I hope that this message will reach him wherever he is. Whoever you are, you are the gate attendant who is wearing the green glasses. That was very conspicuous at gate 829 in the Dallas-Fort Worth Airport. American Airlines, the flight from Dallas Fort Worth to Newark on June 23rd.
Gretchen
We were delayed many, many hours as a crowd was not happy. And whoever you are, gate attendant, this person had so much charm, so much understanding of people psychology. It’s funny. It was like crowd work, you know, when like stand up comics do crowd work. It was like he totally changed the experience for all of us because he wasn’t denying what was this whole thing like.
Gretchen
Don’t deny people’s feelings. He was making fun of the situation and himself. And anyway, I tried to get close enough to see, but I couldn’t see any kind of nametag or badge. And anyway, I probably wouldn’t want to say the person’s name because that’s maybe a little bit weird. But if you wear glasses and you work and you work in that airport, I don’t think that nobody appreciated you because I want to shower you with gold stars.
Elizabeth
Oh, man, I wish I had a video of that.
Gretchen
I know, I know. But it went on for hours. It was that 1/22 thing that he did. It was good. It was like this was coming out of it. It was one of those things where every half an hour it would bump back and it wasn’t even like, okay, I know now it’s going to be 3 hours is half an hour.
Gretchen
A half an hour. Oh, anyway, the resources for this week we were talking about writing. And when it comes to creativity, the thing that we hear from people all the time is that they share the aim of wanting to write more. It can be hard to figure out how to establish a writing routine for yourself. We got questions about that.
Gretchen
So if you want to set aside time for self-reflection, novel writing, working on your thesis, recording progress on a challenging project, short stories, keeping a gratitude journal, any kind of writing. In the Happier App this month there is a jumpstart just for you. It will last two weeks, and the jumpstart is meant to help you establish a writing routine that’s just very manageable, customized, designed around whatever your aims are.
Gretchen
The week one is prompts about mapping it out who, what, when, why you want to do it. And then week two is about keeping going and getting going. And that is starting Monday, July 16th. Go to thehappierapp.com if you want to check it out. And Elizabeth, speaking of listening to books and reading books, what are you reading?
Elizabeth
I am listening to The Guest by Emma Klein.
Gretchen
And I am reading Infinity Gate by M.R. Carey. And that’s it for this episode of Happier. Remember to try this at home. Act like a teenager. The good parts of being a teenager. Let us know if you tried it and if it worked for you.
Elizabeth
Thanks. Our executive producer Chuck Reed, and everyone at Cadence 13. Get in touch. Gretchen’s on Instagram and Threads and TikTok at Gretchen Rubin and I’m on Instagram and Threads at Liz Craft. Our email address is podcast@gretchenrubin.com.
Gretchen
And if you like the show, really do it this week. Send it to somebody who wants to write, send it to somebody who wants to act like a teenager. Send them the episode. That is how most people discover our show.
Elizabeth
And so next week, I’m Elizabeth Craft.
Gretchen
And I’m Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and upward.
Gretchen
Elizabeth, I wish you could see the situation my recording situation. I got pillows, I got lamps, I’ve got wires everywhere. I knocked over a glass of water. Oh, my gosh. It’s a mess.
Elizabeth
Take a photo and send it to me. I want to see.
Gretchen
I will. I will. I will. It’s great to be able to do this on the move, but it’s not a pretty sight.
[Music]
From the onward project.