Try This at Home
Turn an acquaintance into a friend.
Happiness Hack
If you have important information to convey in an email, put the key facts in the subject line.
Happier Highlights
We’re happier when we put our values into the world. If voting is one of your values, make sure you’re registered to vote! Visit headcount.org/state. You enter your state. It takes just a few click—less than thirty seconds.
Open Door/ Empty Nest
If we don’t feel a natural interest in an activity, can we manufacture an interest in it? People so often suggest that open-door parents should “develop a hobby.” What if we don’t have a hobby? Can we “fake it ’til we make it?”
Demerits & Gold Stars
Gretchen’s Demerit: I got very annoyed with Jamie about a scheduling issue. Instead of using humor and a light tone, I was very snarky.
Elizabeth’s Gold Star: Elizabeth gives a gold star to Erik, her son Jack’s new executive-functioning coach, for being such a good teacher.
Resource
Our voting partner, Headcount, makes it easy to find out how to vote in your state. Each state has different rules and requirements, so get the right information for you. Visit headcount.org/state to find exactly what you need to know, including deadlines for in-person voting, voting by mail, early voting, and answers to FAQs.
What We’re Reading
*This transcript is unedited*
[501]
[music]
Gretchen
Hello and welcome to happier, a podcast where we talk about ideas for making our lives happier, healthier, more productive and more creative. This week, we’ll talk about why it may be worthwhile to spend the time and energy to turn an acquaintance into a friend, and we’ll discuss a lesson in happiness that we learn from our parents.
Gretchen
And.
Gretchen
I’m Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness. Good habit. The Open Door, also known as the Empty Nest and human Nature. I am here in my little home office in New York City. And joining me today from Los Angeles is my sister, Elizabeth Craft.
Elizabeth
That’s me, Elizabeth Craft, a TV writer and producer living in L.A.. And, Gretchen, I wish I were in New York. Our parents are visiting you.
Gretchen
Yeah, we went for a walk in Central Park this morning. We really wish you were here. But first, before we jump in, we got some interesting updates from listeners.
Elizabeth
Yes, this comes from Michelle. She says. I was fascinated with the podcast topic about don’t volunteer to deliver bad news. I am a pharmacist. I deliver bad news all day long. I give people messages they don’t want to hear, such as we are still waiting to hear from your doctor to this product is not covered by your insurance.
Elizabeth
It’s awful. I don’t like conflict. My days are filled with conflict. The next time your pharmacist delivers bad news, remember don’t shoot the messenger. P.S. I actually love my current pharmacy job. I work in a community health center. Well, that’s a.
Gretchen
Good reminder that just because somebody is bearing the bad news, don’t take it out on them. They may have nothing to do with whatever it is that you’re unhappy about. And it’s certainly no fun to be the delivery person.
Elizabeth
Yes, and some people don’t have a choice.
Gretchen
That’s right. And this comes from Katie. This is funny just by way of introduction. If people don’t know I’m writing about the empty nest, say, is my daughter Eleanor just left for college a few weeks ago, but I am reframing it as the open door, which I think is a much better metaphor for the empty nest. And Katie writes, it cracks me up when you say the open door phase to describe you and your husband during the empty nest phase.
Gretchen
We’ve used that term for a while in the book world for romance books that have open doors, spicy scenes. And so I look this up on the internet, and it turns out, indeed, with romance novels, they’re often divided into open door or closed door. And so a closed door means all the romance like behavior happens behind closed doors, and open door romances mean, well, that door is open.
Gretchen
So there’s a little bit more of a detailed description of what’s going on. So I thought that was quite funny. I did not know that was another meaning for Open Door. So I got a big kick out of that too.
Elizabeth
Very funny. Love it. And then, Gretch, we want to remind listeners that our next book club book is Tell Me Everything by Elizabeth Strout.
Gretchen
Yeah, we’re so excited for that discussion. So get to reading. Send us your questions and observations. Insights. We are really looking forward to the conversation with Elizabeth Strout. So again that is tell me everything. And this week I tried this at home. Suggestion is to turn an acquaintance into a friend.
Elizabeth
I love this because such friends are so important and I think as we get older it can be harder to make friends.
Gretchen
Both are so true. Friendship is incredibly important. Ancient philosophers and contemporary scientists agree that a key to a happy life may be the key to a happy life is strong relationships and strong relationships with friends are so valuable. And it is true that when we’re younger, our networks are growing. But then as we get older, our networks tend to become smaller.
Gretchen
And so this is something we really want to keep our eye on. You want to keep those relationships strong and growing. And of course, it’s very valuable to have acquaintances. Many of us have friendly acquaintances in our life. They add a lot of value. The value of loose ties is very well established, where people that you’re loosely acquainted with can give you really valuable information.
Gretchen
But we really want to have those close friends. Friends we can rely on, friends who will help us and whom we can help. Friends that we could confide an important secret to. Friends that help us feel like we belong. These are really, really valuable relationships, and they’re worth cultivating.
Elizabeth
One thing I thought was interesting, Gretchen, is you reminded me that sometimes you think someone’s a friend, but they’re actually an acquaintance. And so explain that and then we’ll talk about how to move into the friend category.
Gretchen
Yeah. So this is something that I’ve really noticed as I’ve started to do the research into the open door phase, which is it’s not uncommon for someone to think that they have a lot of friends, but it turns out what they have is a lot of acquaintances. So let’s say you have a kid who’s on a sports team and you go to the games, you go to the practices.
Gretchen
There’s a lot of events and get togethers and you see the same people and you’re having good conversations and you feel like, well, these people are my friends. But what can happen if you’re not paying attention, perhaps, is that your child goes off, leaves the nest, the door goes open. And so there are there are no more sports activities because the child is no longer there.
Gretchen
And so all of these relationships dissolve because it turns out that they were acquaintances brought together by this common interest. And that’s what brought everybody together. They haven’t been turned into actual friends.
Elizabeth
So we’re going to talk about how to turn someone into a friend.
Gretchen
How to turn somebody into a friend. So if you’ve got somebody in your life and you haven’t done any of these things, they’re probably an acquaintance. Could be a very friendly acquaintance, but it’s an acquaintance. And if you want to turn an acquaintance into a friend, this is kind of a to do list. Okay. Okay. So here we go.
Gretchen
Here’s some things. One of the most important things is you do something together that is completely unrelated to why you know each other. So, for instance, I meet somebody new through my book group, and then we go to the met together or, you know, somebody from school, and then you go to a concert together because now you’re doing something that’s not related to what brought you together in the first place.
Gretchen
You’re doing something that’s just something that’s personal to both of you. It’s an experience that you’re sharing. Apart from that acquaintance bond, you.
Elizabeth
Could also start a group around, your shared identity. But that also exists apart from that shared identity.
Gretchen
Well, I remember this with our mother when you graduated from high school, Elizabeth, our mother was in a group of people who had children that had been in your grade. And so that was sort of how everybody came together. But then the group took on its own life, and it was its own freestanding group, that it did its own thing.
Gretchen
And so it came together with something, but then it existed apart from it. It wasn’t like everybody just got together around the sports event. They had their own schedule in their own calendar.
Elizabeth
Yes. Another one. Invite them into your home. That’s a big one.
Gretchen
Having somebody into your home, it’s a big marker of intimacy.
Elizabeth
Yeah. Yes. I had a friend, Gretchen, who said, if you don’t invite me to your house by October 15th, I’m not going to be friends with you because I had never had her over. So I had to do it, and I had a dinner party.
Gretchen
Oh, that’s right, that’s great. Okay, so that’s somebody who’s like, I’m in the acquaintance zone. And I wanted to be in the friend zone. Okay?
Elizabeth
That’s how she’d had me to her house several times.
Gretchen
Well, you and I don’t have that. Invite people over instead. Know we try to inculcate that in ourselves, but. So this is a good thing for us to be aware that this is maybe a step that we need to push ourselves to take, sort of along the same lines as if you have a spouse or a sweetheart, are you socializing together with them?
Gretchen
That’s another sign of intimacy, which is now we’re kind of moving into that kind of, social life, which is, again, sort of more independent from whatever might be bringing you together, which is very much just something you’re part of.
Elizabeth
This one’s interesting. Ask for a favor.
Gretchen
This one is so funny. I have a friend, we work together, and she was saying like, oh, there was this guy at work and I never thought that he liked me. But then one day, he came up to me in the cafeteria and said, hey, you got to lend me 50 bucks. And so that I knew we were friends.
Gretchen
And so sometimes this is not like, can you please house sit my sick cat for a month? But can I impose on you a little bit?
Elizabeth
Yeah. Confide a secret.
Gretchen
Yes. This is one of the things that marks a friend. A friend is someone to whom we would confide an important secret. Is this somebody who you can trust with a secret that’s important and interesting.
Elizabeth
I find it gets harder as I get older to confide in people in general. Oh, that’s a happiness stumbling block. Ooh.
Gretchen
That’s interesting. Maybe because the stakes are higher.
Gretchen
Interesting. Well, less fraught is to invite them to a party. Melissa, you mentioned that before, that you had a dinner party. That’s another thing. Have a party. That’s a way to invite them to your home. But also, if you’re having a birthday party and you invite them to your birthday party, people are like, oh, I guess I’m a friend because you invite your friends to your birthday party.
Elizabeth
Yes, make a thoughtful gesture around their birthday or an important milestone.
Gretchen
Own right. I was very touched with my open door phase. Several friends texted me and they’re like, thinking of you. How does it going? Like that was just a way of showing that they were tracking something important that was happening in my life, even though it wasn’t. It wasn’t happening to all of us all at once. And that’s the sign of a friend.
Gretchen
Is there paying attention to things like that?
Elizabeth
That’s nice. Start a group with them.
Gretchen
Yes, if you want to be friends. I’m a huge fan of groups. I think groups make it much easier to make friends. One of the most important things for making friends is just consistently seeing them. It’s easier to consistently see somebody when you’re in a group together gives you a common activity. It helps you to make new friends.
Gretchen
I’m in book groups, but I have friends who are in hiking groups. I have friends who are in poker groups. I have friends who are in volunteering groups. I’m a big fan of the group as a way to meet new people and turn acquaintances into friends.
Elizabeth
Another one, Gretchen, is to remember important details from their life and follow up about ongoing issues. Like, you might send a text saying, how was your mother’s surgery? Or did you finish that work project? Yeah.
Gretchen
Yeah, this is sort of a line to the idea of remembering their birthday or milestone. It’s just again, showing that you’re in touch with their lives. You’re thinking of them. You’re tracking what’s important to them. Yeah, but this is something that’s funny is give the person a nickname or a title. Speaking of book groups, because I have friends in my book group, there’s one friend and I’m like, she’s the queen of the book group.
Gretchen
I gave her that title, that nickname. And sometimes people were like, well, what is the Queen of the book group think it’s just a sign of intimacy?
Elizabeth
Yes. My, mom friends call me lizard, which is. I didn’t.
Gretchen
Know that.
Elizabeth
Name. Yes.
Gretchen
Okay.
Elizabeth
Yeah, not all the time, but sometimes. And that’s my nickname.
Gretchen
That’s fun. When I was in high school, people called me Greta or Gret, and. Oh, really?
Elizabeth
I didn’t know that. People also, we also call each other by our initials a lot. So Elsie is another one of my nicknames.
Gretchen
Oh that’s interesting. That’s that’s how you talk about Supreme Court justice. If you’re a clerk, you will say, yeah, what is sock think or whatever. So yeah, having an inside joke call back that gives a sense of intimacy. You’re sitting in a meeting and you and a friend have been saying like, oh my gosh, have you noticed how often they use this phrase?
Gretchen
And then somebody says that phrase and you exchange glances, and it’s just that feeling of intimacy. That’s another thing that friends have is they have that inside joke and those special moments that they share.
Elizabeth
And don’t rely on social media to stay connected. That’s important.
Gretchen
Yes. Or like connecting by zoom. These things are great. They help us stay closer and stay up to date, but they are not a replacement for actually getting together. And I’m always saying to myself, IRL is better than IRL and it’s got to get moving into real life to stay close to people.
Elizabeth
Yeah. Now, Gretchen, if all of this seems too much, yeah, people feel shy. They feel intimidated. One thing you could do that’s a baby step is just start texting someone about things again, not associated necessarily with how you know them. Right? So just starting your own text relationship.
Gretchen
Yeah. So you’re not in a group anymore. You’re one on one because friends are friends one on one, right? It’s always thoughtful when somebody is like, oh, here’s that book that we were talking about or oh, here’s the link to that podcast that we were talking about or that I promise to send you because, again, it’s like I’m thinking of you.
Gretchen
And what’s interesting and what’s important to you, and I want to connect with you directly.
Elizabeth
Yes. Just the other day, I was talking to a mother at a parent’s breakfast and she was telling me about some articles, and then later she sent them to me and it was so nice. Yes. And of course, now I feel connected to her more than just having met at a parent’s breakfast.
Gretchen
Exactly. It’s that baby stuff. Well, I’m sure there are other ways to turn acquaintances into friends. Let us know if you try this. And now turning an acquaintance into a friend works for you and what your other suggestions might be for making that transition, it can feel a little awkward. Let’s be honest. It can feel a little awkward sometimes to be like, hey, let’s be friends, you know, like a four year old.
Gretchen
But it’s important. Let us know on Instagram threads, TikTok, Facebook. Drop us an email at podcast a Gretchen rubin.com. Or as always, you can go to the show notes. You can go to happier. Cars.com slash 501 for everything related to this episode.
Elizabeth
Coming up, we have an email happiness hack. But first, this break.
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Elizabeth
Okay, Gretchen, we are back with a happiness hack.
Gretchen
Okay, this is a simple one, but one that I’m trying to do more and more, which is when I’m sending an email to somebody, as I do a thousand times a day. I try to put anything important in the subject line so that if they’re referring back to it, especially if it’s a complicated email, the most important parts are in the email, or sometimes there doesn’t even need to be a body of the email.
Gretchen
I can get it all just in the subject line because it’s such a concise space. Then you don’t feel like you have to have any niceties. And I just think it’s easier for people to track when they have what’s important just flashed right in front of their eyes without having to click into it.
Elizabeth
Yes, I do that. For instance, of Jack is sick, I can’t go to school. I’ll put in the subject line of the email to school. Jack Ferro, ninth grade sick today. Yeah. So that they just see it. Yeah, it’s easier for me now. I also will say hello. Jack is sick because I want to be polite. Right. But then if they don’t want to look at it, they don’t have to.
Gretchen
Right. And when they’re clicking through to see like, oh, have I registered all the information that came in this morning? They’re like, okay, I know what that one is. Got it. Yeah. I will have one note of caution that I’ve discovered the hard way. If you’re in an ongoing discussion with an email like this, and the fundamental fact changes change the header.
Gretchen
So for instance, if it was something like lunch Tuesday 27th, 12:30 p.m. Winstead. And then in the conversation, back and forth, back and forth. That day doesn’t work. Let’s do it. On the first, change the header. Because if people keep seeing in front of their eyes the wrong date. So be sure one of them will think that is the date and they won’t click through and remember that it got moved.
Gretchen
So at some point I have to go in and refresh the header. Then it’s not in the same chain. So that can be an issue. So I will just say that this can get a little complex if what you’re doing going back and forth evolves. Sometimes you start over. But for most very simple things that’s not an issue.
Elizabeth
Anything to make email clearer easier. Mine is cluttered with about 40,000 pounds. So yes.
Gretchen
Elizabeth, your knees are buckling under the weight of your emails for sure. Well, now for a happier highlight. One of the things that makes us happier is when we put our values out into the world. And one important value is voting. And Elizabeth Warren thing that I think is interesting about our growing up, when I think back on it and I actually I was just talking to our father about this this morning on her walk is that her parents never really talked about values.
Gretchen
We didn’t sit around and talk about it. They did things that showed their values. And I feel like we learned values from example. And one of the examples that we got is voting. Our parents take voting very seriously.
Elizabeth
Yes. And they would vote on all those little issues when there’s just one random vote that nobody else knows is going on. Yeah, they would absolutely say, okay, well, I have to vote. And we would often go with them to different locations to vote. So it was just something that one had to do that was your responsibility. And it definitely rubbed off on us.
Gretchen
And even when we visited recently, it was sort of like, oh, what time are you going to vote? It’s interesting. Like now we’re voting here instead of there. It’s just part of the fabric of life, of adult life. And this is important because this is a very important civic value. And when we vote and our friends and neighbors see us voting, then they’re more likely to vote.
Gretchen
And you see people with their voting stickers, or you see their messages on social media and people swap experiences like, how long was your line? Did you have a line? What was it like? Oh, you moved, are you in the same place or a different place? It’s part of what people do and it’s a way that we show our values.
Elizabeth
Yes. And you feel like such a part of a city or community when you vote, especially when you vote in person, which is why I do love Mail-In ballots. But it is fun to go vote in person.
Gretchen
It is, it is. I get the America feeling. Yes. And you feel so much gratitude for the people that are doing it, because it really is a way to show that you’re a concerned citizen and it’s an identity. You know, I’m a voter, and I think that’s part of what we got from our parents was this idea of like, they are voters.
Gretchen
And now that we can, we’re voters, too. But it’s interesting because, you know, I always say with the four tendencies with a rebel, a really important thing for rebels is identity. And of the 21 strategies of habit change, when people are like, well, how can a rebel rebel change their habits if they don’t like things like scheduling or other people?
Gretchen
Stuff like that? Identity is really important to rebels, and so if they identify as rebels, they’ll vote. But then a rebel said to me, you know, they also don’t like to be ordered around. They like independence and freedom and a rebel said to me because I said, do you find it hard to vote because you’re supposed to do something on a certain day or in a certain way?
Gretchen
How do you feel about that as a rebel? And he said, oh my gosh, I’m gonna let other people take control of my destiny. Not voting is a vote. I got to vote because no one’s going to ignore me. Or and I thought, oh, well, that’s a very interesting way, the way that a rebel would see it, which is I need to vote so that I can participate in the control.
Elizabeth
Yes, I think voting is easy for us. Obligers stretch. Well, I.
Gretchen
Don’t know about that because it might be. Do you feel like other people are holding you accountable? If you feel like nobody cares or nobody’s watching, maybe you don’t. Maybe that’s one of the reasons that people trust. Want other people to wear the stickers and do the social media is so that people feel like, well, this is something that you’re expected to do, and people will notice if you haven’t done it.
Gretchen
Because if you agree that it’s a good thing to do, do you want people to know that you’ve done it?
Elizabeth
Interesting. Probably true. I do love that sticker.
Gretchen
Yeah, or the smugness of knowing that you’ve got it done. But one of the things about voting is something that can be done at any time, is often done at no time, and voting is something that you need to do in a timely way, obviously. So remember to find out if you are registered. So here is your very easy way to figure this out.
Gretchen
If you just go to head count.org/state, it is divided state by state. If you’re in the United States, you enter your state and you can check to see if you’re registered, which is never a bad idea. Even if you think you’re registered, it’s always a good idea. Just make sure you’re current. Or if you’re not registered, you can registered.
Gretchen
I checked I was registered to vote listed. Did you try?
Elizabeth
I did, and it took just less than 30s. Yeah I am registered.
Gretchen
Yeah.
Elizabeth
Now to report.
Gretchen
Yes. So if you’re not sure if you’re not registered head count.org/state will get you set up to get registered. So you’ll be ready to vote.
Elizabeth
Coming up we have a question related to open door versus break.
[music]
Gretchen
Okay. Because I am thinking so much about the open door. Otherwise known as the empty nest. I have a question for listeners.
Elizabeth
All right. Greg, hit us with the question. Okay.
Gretchen
So this is my question. One of the most common pieces of advice to people who are entering into the open door phase is you should develop a hobby or you should develop an outside interest, and that’ll be exciting and a really satisfying thing. And I think, well, that’s great if you have that, if you’ve been like, wow, I’ve always wanted to spend more time fly fishing or I’ve always wanted to learn Italian, that’s great because now you possibly have more time and energy and you can turn it to that interest.
Gretchen
But what about the people who are like, oh man, I don’t know what what would that look like? And so this is the question. The question is, can you fake it till you make it with an interest? Can you make yourself get interested in something like, I don’t like games, but if I learn to play gin and I played gin, could I get myself to learn to play gin?
Gretchen
I’m really curious about people’s experiences.
Elizabeth
Yes. First of all, with gin, I’d say you should probably pick something more like bridge.
Gretchen
I thought bridge was harder and like more.
Elizabeth
It is harder. But I mean, who sits around playing gin, I guess would be my question. I’m not sure it’s enough of a hobby.
Gretchen
Okay, well, there you go. See? I mean, that’s how little thought I’ve given to it. Okay, so not gin. Okay. Well, that’s a whole separate question, but I don’t like games. But anyway, you get the point. So somebody said to me she was like, oh, you know, I some friends asked me to go away right after the open door phase.
Gretchen
And I thought I knew that one day they’d be busy doing their own thing. And I thought, well, I need a project. So I bought a $25 oil painting set. I had never taken a drawing class before. I bought it very much at random. I’ve been oil painting ever since, and she showed me some photos of her paintings, but they were really, really good.
Gretchen
And then I thought, well, maybe she’d always had this inclination. She swears she didn’t. She swears that this was just sort of a random thing. I then like, okay, with this house that we got, the people we bought it from very nicely left us there. They had two kayaks and they left them for us. And now I’m all kayaking and I’m like, oh, I’m a kayaker.
Gretchen
That’s my identity. And I’ve been online to make sure that my stroke is efficient. And I thought about, well, do you know, do I want to sit on top, kayak instead of a sitting side kayak and everything? If you’d asked me before, I wouldn’t have thought, oh, I would really like to take up kayaking. But when it was presented to me, I really took to it.
Gretchen
This is my question. Can you invoke in your self and interest or a hobby, because nothing is more exciting than something that you’re really engaged with, especially if it’s new. But what if nothing grabs your fancy, right?
Elizabeth
Well, it could be that if you know a lot of other people like something, it’s worth trying. Example that comes to mind for me is pickleball. Oh yeah. Right. Because so many people love pickleball, right? Even if it doesn’t seem like something that’s that enticing, it might be worth trying. Yes, because so many people enjoy it. Right? Of all different types, male and female.
Gretchen
Yeah. No. That’s true. That’s a great point. Then you can also ask yourself things like what did I do for fun when I was ten years old? Because that’s often something that we enjoy as adults. I’ve found that in my own life you can also pay attention to like, well, what are the articles that I’m reading? Like, where am I going?
Gretchen
Deep? Where do my natural interests lie? Is there a way to go deeper? I think one thing if people can’t think of anything, it’s always good to volunteer because you’re putting your values into the world and it’s enlarging your life and giving you new experiences and relationships. And then I think with volunteering, maybe you don’t expect to enjoy it in the same way, like you’re not doing it because, oh, this is fun for me.
Gretchen
You’re doing it because this is the right thing to do. And so maybe the expectations around it are different, but I’m just starting to think about this. So anybody who has any experiences, insights, examples hit me up, because I do feel like this is one of the most commonly offered pieces of advice, but it seems maybe not so easy to follow that advice.
Elizabeth
Yes, I totally hear you. We are not hobby people, you and I.
Gretchen
So we’re not. No. Yes, like I like to do things all the time. I am not a person of broad interests.
Elizabeth
Yes.
Gretchen
Yeah.
Elizabeth
Okay. Gretchen, it is time for demerits and gold stars. And this week it is your turn for a happiness demerit.
Gretchen
Okay, so remember I said that scheduling is life. Yes, scheduling is life. But with some scheduling, you need cooperation. And, you know, Jamie often does not answer my texts or emails. That’s the guy married. It’s okay. And he hadn’t answered some of my questions about scheduling. And I was talking to him about it. And instead of saying calm forecasting my foibles, using humor to make my point and just being like, you know, me being snarky and super annoyed about it was not going to help anything.
Gretchen
It would only slow things down. And yet, what did I do? I got very snarky. I got very worked up and very exercised, and it just was like after a few minutes I did get hold of myself and take a deep breath and say, okay, all right, let’s just start again. But I definitely did not handle the situation the way that I knew perfectly well I should handle.
Elizabeth
It well, Gretchen. It will happen again. Yes. Maybe not as often as it would if you did not try to be aware of it.
Gretchen
Yes, because you know it. In the end, it’s more efficient to just stay constructive, just purely from a perspective of self-interest. It’s much more efficient to be have a constructive tone. So I want to do better next time. But Elizabeth, take us up. What’s your gold star?
Elizabeth
Well, I want to give a gold star to Jack’s new executive functioning coach. His name is Eric. So Jack has started ninth grade. He definitely needs help with sort of organizing study skills, staying on top of turning in assignments, all of that. And a friend of mine suggested this coach, and I’m just so impressed with him because I can sort of overhear they meet on zoom.
Elizabeth
Yeah. And he’s just really no nonsense, really smart. Great. It just keeping Jack’s attention, getting him focused. It is not easy to do now. And I’m just so kind of wowed by his ability to hone in and get stuff done and have it impacts. I feel like when you find those people, it’s so exciting and impressive. So big Gold star to Eric, the executive functioning coach.
Gretchen
Gold star to Eric and Gold star to Jack for buckling down.
Elizabeth
The price. And often, you know, having someone outside of your mother and father can be better for family harmony. And again, to be effective.
Gretchen
Exactly the resource for this week. Well, speaking of voting and the happiness of putting our values out into the world are voting partner head count makes it very easy again to figure out how to vote in your state. Each state has its own rules and requirements, so you want to have the right information for your state. Go to head count.org/state it has.
Gretchen
You can find everything you need to know. That’s like deadlines for in-person voting, voting by mail, early voting fake cuz it’s all at head count, dot org slash state. And also just what are we reading? What are you reading?
Elizabeth
I am reading Earth to Moon, a memoir by moon Unit Zappa.
Gretchen
And I am reading Friends Understanding the Power of Our Most Important Relationships by Robin Dunbar. And that’s it for this episode of happier. Remember to try this at home. Turn an acquaintance into a friend. Let us know if you tried it and if it worked for you.
Elizabeth
Thank you to our executive producer, Chuck Reed and everyone at Odyssey. Get in touch Gretchen’s on Instagram threads, Facebook and TikTok at Gretchen Rubin and I’m on Instagram and threads Atlas Craft. Our email address is podcast at Gretchen rubin.com.
Gretchen
And your rhyming reminders particularly apt for this episode. If you like this show, tell an acquaintance you know. Maybe it will help you become friends.
Elizabeth
Until next week, I’m Elizabeth.
Gretchen
Craft and I’m Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and upward.
Elizabeth
But you know what I was singing about, friends, is it’s so exciting when you identify somebody who you really want to be friends. Yes it is. It’s like, electricity.
Gretchen
It opens up a whole new world to you, you know, like a new friend. Just. It’s so energizing.
Elizabeth
Yes.
Gretchen
From the onward project.