Recently, I launched my new
Gift-Giving Quiz, and it has been absolutely fascinating to see people’s responses.
Often, when I suggest an idea or framework, people add their own twists in ways that surprise me. For instance, I’ve suggested the exercise of making a five-senses portrait: Create a portrait of a person, place, or experience by noting five memorable seeing/hearing/smelling/tasting/touch associations with that subject. What surprised me? How often people use the five-senses portrait to capture their memories of someone who had died. I’d never thought about using the portrait that way.
Similarly, with the Gift-Giving Quiz, people have been using it in a way that I didn’t foresee—but which, I now realize, is absolutely obvious. They take the quiz for
themselves, to understand their
own preferences.
Here’s the bonkers thing—I hadn’t taken the quiz myself! I’d been so focused on creating it as an information source for givers, it never occurred to me to take it myself, to understand myself as a recipient!
Why is it so hard to know ourselves? It’s easy to think, “Of course I know what kinds of gifts I like.” But even as I was coming up with this gift-appreciation framework for others, I never questioned what “type”
I might be, or what gifts pleased
me most. I just had a vague, general sense. But now I know: I’m an Easy-to-Please.
That knowledge has helped me start my wish list (in my family, you’re expected to provide a long wish list), and by telling people that I’m an Easy-to-Please, I help them identify gifts for me. Hey, if you love that new kind of pen, I’d love to try one, too.
Gift-giving is an important ritual of happiness: it strengthens connections, allows us to express love, thoughtfulness, and appreciation, and gives us a way to be generous. And nothing is more happiness-boosting than giving or getting the perfect gift. I remember giving Jamie his first subscription to
Sports Illustrated, in the first year we were dating. That magazine still arrives each week.
