In this Very Special Episode, we discuss listener questions related to the Four Tendencies (are you an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel? — and how that matters). Get in touch: @gretchenrubin; @elizabethcraft; podcast@gretchenrubin.com; happiercast.com/75; 774-277-9336.
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Very Special Episode
Every tenth episode, we do a “Very Special Episode” that’s different from our usual structure. For this VSE, we discuss listener questions about the Four Tendencies. Want to take the Quiz, to find out if you’re an Upholder, Questioner, Obliger, or Rebel? It’s here. Want to listen to the episodes dedicated to each Tendency?
- Upholder is episode 35 — “Are you like Gretchen and Hermione?”
- Questioner is episode 36 — “Do you always ask why?”
- Obliger is episode 37 — “Can you meet a work deadline, but can’t go running on your own?
- Rebel is episode 38 — “Do you hate being told what to do?” Note: we weren’t able to interview a Rebel as part of that episode; if you want to hear from a Rebel, check out this interview with the brilliant Chris Guillebeau (bestselling author and host of the podcast Side Hustle School) about his perspective as a Rebel. Start listening at 25:15.
Questions we discuss in this episode:
- “How can a doctor quickly figure out someone’s Tendency?”
- “How can I as an Upholder parent better understand my Rebel child?”
- “I’m an Obliger who works for a Questioner. How can I feel less frustration?”
- “As a Rebel, how can I tell myself to eat healthfully and exercise?”
- “I’m an Obliger, and I’m resisting the new office policy that we show a badge. Is this Obliger-rebellion?”
- “An Obliger friend keeps busting through her budget — because she owes it to other people to spend. What’s up?”
- “I’ve realized that my Obliger Tendency is affecting my dating life, for instance, by being too accommodating. How do I create a balance?”
Elizabeth’s Demerit
Elizabeth wanted to start hiking on the weekends with friends; it hasn’t happened.
Gretchen’s Gold Star
Gold star to everyone who has provided me with their perspectives, examples, and questions about the Four Tendencies. I have a lot more insight into other people — and myself.