We discuss surprising new research that suggests that being accommodating
doesn’t actually make us more likable. We also mention a hack that makes habit-
keeping easier, discuss whether or not we’ve kept childhood vows, and debate a
listener’s question about how to handle her unusual challenge with her in-laws.
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Try This at Home
State your preference.
Perhaps counter-intuitively, new research suggests that stating a preference—even if you don’t really have a preference—is better for your relationships than saying you’re happy with any option.
Happiness Hack
Remember, good habits often become self-reinforcing, so it gets easier to stick to the habit.
I mention the Habits hub on my website—so many resources there.
Know Yourself Better
Did you ever make a vow as a child, “When I grow up, I will ____?” Did you keep that vow?
We answered that question ourselves, and shared answers from listeners.
Listener Question
A listener asks how to tell her in-laws to stop buying her so many gifts.
We mention the over-buyer and under-buyer distinction, the Gift-Giving quiz, and the Five Love Languages.
Demerits & Gold Stars
Elizabeth’s Demerit: She didn’t decorate for Christmas until the last minute.
Gretchen’s Gold Star: I give gold stars to my daughters Eliza and Eleanor for being so willing to run errands.
Resource
This week is the anniversary of my book The Happiness Project, and to celebrate, I’ll be re-doing my own happiness project as part of my new course “The Happiness Project: Revisited.” I’m giving away one free spot for the course! Visit my profile on Instagram or Facebook for some simple instructions on how to enter. I’ll randomly select one winner to announce on social media by 1/3/24.
For more, visit my website.
What We’re Reading
Transcript coming soon.