Update
If you want to read about the “Rebel Badge Store,” it’s here.
If you’d like to get my free “Five Things Making Me Happy” weekly newsletter, sign up here.
Try This at Home
Allow a tradition to evolve.
Happiness Hack
In episode 468, we asked for listeners’ suggestions for dealing with the annoyingly bright lights that devices emit.
Suggestions include:
- light-blocking stickers made for this purpose, for example, by Flancci
- Plasti-Tak
- Painter’s tape
- Sleep mask
Interview
We talk to Bradley Tusk, who has founded businesses, worked as a political strategist, started the indie bookstore called P & T Knitwear, hosts the podcast Firewall, written the memoir The Fixer, and just came out with his first novel, Obvious in Hindsight. Here’s a description:
A tech start-up and their cutthroat consultants will stop at nothing to realize their dream of filling the skies of America’s cities with flying cars…and their opposition is equally determined to bring that dream crashing down.
In the blisteringly funny Obvious in Hindsight, the new technology is flying cars, and they’re coming to a crowded urban area near you. But before that happens, the slick and powerful political consultants campaigning to get the new tech adopted will have to manipulate political operatives to their advantage while overcoming fierce opposition from groups hostile to the idea, from the strategically aligned taxi cab and rideshare companies to the squawking, costumed Audubon Society, the socialists, and the Russian mob.
We had a conversation about writing, human nature, and habits.
We mention the “Habits for Happiness” quiz.
Bradley’s Try-This-at-Home suggestion: If possible, do tasks without delay—even if it means multi-tasking.
Bradley mentions his piece, “50 Reflections on Turning 50.”
Demerits & Gold Stars
Gretchen’s Demerit: I started twisting my hair again; I’m not sure why I stopped or started.
Elizabeth’s Gold Star: She and her family had a great weekend away, despite the rainy weather.
Resource
There’s a a fun new feature in the Happier app: To start earning badges (and we all love a badge), sign in or sign up at thehappierapp.com. And share them on social media!
What We’re Reading
*This transcript is unedited*
[471]
[music]
Gretchen
Hello and welcome to happier a podcast where we talk about how to be happier. This week we’ll talk about how and why we should allow a tradition to evolve. And we’ll talk to Bradley Tusk about his new novel Obvious in Hindsight.
Gretchen
I’m Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness habits. The Five Senses, the Four tendencies, Human Nature. I am here in my little home office in New York City. And joining me today from Los Angeles is my sister, Elizabeth Craft. My sister the sage.
Elizabeth
That’s me, Elizabeth Craft, a TV writer and producer living in L.A. and Gretchen, one tradition I love is our tradition of doing this podcast every week.
Gretchen
That’s such a great tradition. And before we dive in, we have an update. In episode 468, we talked about the question of like, what kind of Gold Star works for you? And I also mentioned this question in my weekly newsletter, and we got an interesting response.
Elizabeth
Yeah, Alicia said, I have just read your latest Five things email and the item to earn badges to celebrate your progress jumped out at me. One of my students told me about the Rebel Badge book. It is filled with badges. You can earn much like children do, and scouts and guides. The badges are diverse and can be a useful jumping off point.
Elizabeth
If you’re feeling a bit stuck and want to try something new or push yourself in an existing hobby. There are also badges that encourage self reflection and education. It’s self-governed, but there is a very active Facebook community in which you can share your progress, ask for guidance or take part in group challenges. You can order real fabric patch badges just like the scouts do so under your jumper or a banner or just take them off in the book.
Elizabeth
The choice is yours and helps you make the most of your spare time and spend some time doing things you can’t normally find time for.
Gretchen
And so I looked at the examples of some of these badges, and here are just a few. Activist indoor gardener, mechanic, board games, circus skills. Coder. Confectioner. Film critic, mixologist, music lover. So I think it’s great to just look at the choices and get ideas of some activities that you want to do. It’s super fun if you’re in a blazer.
Gretchen
The idea that you’re joining in with all these people that can help you stick to it. I will post a link to the Rebel Badge story in the show notes, but I just thought that this was super charming.
Elizabeth
So fun. I have to look and see if there’s a Mahjong badge Gretch.
Gretchen
If there is not, you can start. And if you want to sign up for my newsletter, you can sign up at Gretchen Rubin dot com slash newsletter. And this week is our try this at home suggestion is to allow a tradition to evolve.
Elizabeth
Yeah and we’ve mentioned this before, but it’s really worth focusing on as a try this at home because traditions about family and friends need to change over time as your circumstances change.
Gretchen
Yeah, it’s easy. You know, you think of a tradition as being something that’s locked in, but life is changing over time. Circumstances, values what’s even possible. And so it’s good to keep an eye on traditions so that we make sure that they are really vital and working for us and not becoming more of a drag than what they’re supposed to do, which is to make life richer and more memorable and help people feel closer to each other.
Elizabeth
Yeah, like we’ve had to evolve our Christmas and Thanksgiving traditions, Gretchen Especially me. So when I got married, I went to doing the every other year at each big holiday, which now horses totally feels like the tradition. It feels so so-called normal now that we’ve done it for years. And then I even evolved that more because my sister in law was doing the same thing.
Elizabeth
But we were on off years, so we evolved to getting ourselves on the same schedule. So now we have a tradition that we’re very happy with. Plus, I’m now hosting.
Gretchen
Yes, because Star, you have evolved into that. You’ve personally evolved as well as evolved the tradition.
Elizabeth
Yes. And I.
Gretchen
Love it. And a way that we’ve evolved family traditions is so my in-laws live right around the corner from us, you know, and my brother in law and sister in law and their kids also live in New York City. And when all the grandchildren were little, we would go to their birthday party. We would celebrate them separately. Now we have clustered birthdays.
Gretchen
So we have kind of like a December birthday group. We have a February birthday group and a few stragglers that we will do separately. But over time, we just realized we wouldn’t be able to keep up having every single birthday. And so realizing that we could group them together, I think has made us more consistent because it was more manageable.
Gretchen
And also, I will note that it used to be my mother in law who would send out the email like, Hey, we’ve got a birthday coming up, let’s figure out a date and now I’m the one who usually does that. So that’s also an it’s an evolution in making less work and also more work for me. But that’s.
Elizabeth
Fine. Right now you’ve got your open door phase of life when Eliza and Eleanor are out of the house, and that’s causing, you know, a lot of traditions to evolve.
Gretchen
Well, one of the traditions and I think this is kind of a very common tradition, is that Eliza, who lives in New York City, comes over for dinner every Sunday night. That’s sort of the default. And then we tinker with it. But I would love to hear from listeners if you have good traditions related to this open door phase, especially this open door phase where they’re they’re like newly out of the house because it feels like that’s a very particular stage of life and I really want to make the most of it.
Gretchen
So I’d love to hear how other people do it. I mean, another thing related to the stage is, you know, I have my Halloween photo gallery where every year I take a picture of the girls in their Halloween costumes, get a Halloween kind of themed frame or like at least like a black or orange frame and add it to a gallery.
Gretchen
I put it out every Halloween. But this year I decided, you know what? That gallery is now paused. Maybe I will add to it more when there are more little kids dressed up in Halloween costumes. But at least for now, that photo gallery is what it is, which was a little poignant. Yeah, it’s complete for that’s a good way to frame it.
Gretchen
It it has come it has reached completion.
Elizabeth
Yes. Yes. It will begin again one day, we hope.
Gretchen
Volume two.
Elizabeth
Yes. Well, I mean, big milestones like that often require evolution. And it is a good time to think about what you want. So, yes, for instance, you want to see allies on a regular basis. So it’s a good time to set up that vision. I think a lot of people who have kids out of the house like to have a regular time to face time.
Elizabeth
Yeah, you know, you can’t see each other in person. That’s another kind of tradition that evolves and maybe like you go to them for Thanksgiving or something like that.
Gretchen
Back to what you were saying about it. You should think about what you want. I think that’s really, really important because you have to think about what it is that you want from the tradition so that you can make sure that it keeps going. So, for instance, like if an important friend or family member dies, it might be a time when a tradition could be lost.
Gretchen
And so you want to reflect on that, really stop and think what’s going to happen with this tradition? Do we want to hold on to it in some way? But it has to be a new way.
Elizabeth
My in-laws, who did a lot of hosting of, you know, Thanksgiving and Christmas, there was just sort of over wanting to host. And that was a time because that was kind of like a transitional time. And so I thought about it like, do I want to jump into hosting? And I thought, I really do. Jack absolutely loves to have the people over to our house.
Elizabeth
You know, we always admired Mom and still do admire Mom’s hosting skills so much and I sort of said, okay, this is outside of my comfort zone, but I’m going to take this moment to embrace the idea of hosting. And as I was saying, I love it.
Gretchen
Yeah, right. Well, and when you think about what you want, you might see the way forward. So, for instance, you might have a bunch of friends who love to go out for drinks, but you come to a point where everybody’s comparing New Year’s resolutions and they’re all related about getting healthier, more exercise. And you could say, okay, why don’t we switch it up instead of meeting for drinks after work?
Gretchen
Why don’t we meet for a hike on the weekend? And that will serve the aim that we all share of getting healthier. But we’re still having what’s really important to us, which is just the time to hang out and have fun. But we’re doing it in a new way that works for where we are right now.
Elizabeth
One tradition I love Gretch that has evolved is Galentine’s Day. Yes, right. Women have really embraced the idea of having a friends dinner. Yes, I think it’s the day before Valentine’s Day often. And I love that.
Gretchen
It’s a celebration of friendship.
Elizabeth
Yes.
Gretchen
And, you know, back to this idea of what do you want? This is also helpful if you’re thinking about new traditions and, of course, new traditions. Sounds kind of it’s an oxymoron, but a tradition has to start at some point. And so you might think about, well, what do I want? How do I make it into a tradition?
Gretchen
Like I thought one of my big resolutions from the Happiness Project was to be a treasure house of happy memories. And so keeping a Halloween gallery was something that served that aim. It was a new tradition that then became an old tradition. I remember reading this came up in the context of obliges holding each other accountable, but I thought it was also a great example of starting a new tradition so that people are meeting their aims.
Gretchen
It was a mother and a daughter, and the daughter she wanted to read the Bible every day and she also wanted to get up earlier. But she lived by herself. So what she did is she and her mother started a tradition that they would call each other at 7 a.m., read the Bible together, pray for each other, and then have their day.
Gretchen
And I thought, Well, this is so brilliant, right? Because it’s accountability, which obligers need she’s getting up on time, she’s reading the Bible and she’s spending time with her mother on the phone. It’s just like this is all like a quadruple win. But it was a new tradition that was thought through carefully to serve all these aims in a very elegant way.
Elizabeth
Yeah. And another thing to keep in mind is you want it to be manageable terms of time, money and effort. So if you’re going to evolve a tradition, evolve it in a way that you can actually follow through with. Yes. You don’t want to be so ambitious in your condition that nobody wants to take part.
Gretchen
Which can happen.
Elizabeth
Absolutely.
Gretchen
They can gather more parts. And if you’re thinking to yourself, well, why does this matter? While the research shows that for a happier life, traditions really have an important part to play, they help people stay closer together. They give children a feeling of family membership and continuity. They help keep memories vivid. They make time more memorable. They mark time.
Gretchen
They’re a great way to celebrate our five senses. You know, I’m all about the five senses. And so much of what we associate with traditions is all of the sensory elements involved. So there’s so many reasons to think about evolving a tradition so that they stay like a vital part of our lives.
Elizabeth
Absolutely.
Gretchen
So let us know if you do try this at home and how allowing a tradition to evolve works for you. What tradition have you evolved? Let us know on Instagram threads Tik-tok Facebook Drop us an email at podcaster Gretchen Rubin dot com Or as always, you can go to the show notes. This is a happier cast dot com slash 471 to get everything related to this episode.
Elizabeth
Coming up we asked and you answered and happiness hacks about how to deal with those lights on devices that keep us awake at night.
Gretchen
Okay is it it’s time for the happiness hack and boy in episode 468 I put out a call. What do you do about those super bright lights that devices emit that you just think, my gosh, this thing is keeping me awake. This light blue light is shining across the room at me. And it turns out that when you identify a problem, which I finally identified that problem, there are many very simple solutions.
Gretchen
We got great suggestions from listeners.
Elizabeth
Yes, many people suggested stickers that cover lights on devices. Yes. This is a thing you can buy.
Gretchen
Yes. Flann. She was the most often noted brand, but I don’t know that it really matters. Yeah, these are special stickers that are made for this purpose.
Elizabeth
Yes. And neither of us got them because it’s no spend February, but we noted them and we will revisit the question in March.
Gretchen
Yeah. And another thing you can use is plast attack. I didn’t really know about this, but it’s a reusable adhesive mounting putty. Kathy wrote It’s easy to remove plastic tack with no mass or residue, no light leaks out and it doesn’t look terrible either. It sticks to any clean, dry surface, never dries out and is 100% reusable. Just pull off the desired amount and knead until pliable.
Gretchen
So if you have plastic around, this would be a great way to use it.
Elizabeth
Fantastic. Now, Jennifer said, when we’re traveling or sleeping at someone else’s house, we just pack a roll of blue painter’s tape with us. That way, when we find a bright light on an electronic, we can just stick a piece or two of blue tape on top to dim it. Bonus The bright blue color also makes it easy to remember to remove it before you leave.
Gretchen
Yes, I thought that was a great many people also suggested painter’s tape and it and noted that it comes in many colors. So I think it is a good idea if you’re like using it outside your own home. Yes. To have it be very conspicuous. And then finally, Shannon had a different solution, which is she recommends wearing a sleep mask because that blocks out all the light.
Gretchen
And then you don’t have to worry about the device at all. So again, these are all excellent practical solutions, which I have to say I hadn’t considered any of them. So we’re kind of baffled why these all seem relatively obvious. Yeah, so I didn’t know that there was like an actual product for this. So thank you listeners, but great advice.
Elizabeth
Always good when you’ve identified the problem and.
Gretchen
Now for an interview, My friend Bradley Tusk is someone who has worn many hats. He has started businesses. He is the founder of Tusk Venture Partners, a venture capital fund. He has worked as a political strategist. He has opened an indie bookstore here in New York City called P&T Knitwear. he’s very involved with important causes, doing work to end hunger and start mobile voting.
Elizabeth
And if that’s not enough, he hosts a podcast called Firewall about the intersection of tech and politics. He wrote a memoir, The Fixer, and he just came out with a novel Obvious in Hindsight. Here’s a description of the novel a tech startup and their cutthroat consultants will stop at nothing to realize their dream of filling the skies of America’s cities with flying cars.
Elizabeth
And their opposition is equally determined to bring that dream crashing down in the blisteringly funny obvious. In hindsight, the new technology is flying cars and they’re coming to a crowded urban area near you. But before that happens, the slick and powerful political consultants campaigning to get the new tech adopted will have to manipulate political operatives to their advantage, while overcoming fierce opposition from groups hostile to the idea from the strategically aligned taxi cab and rideshare companies to the squawking costumed Audubon Society, the Socialists and the Russian mob.
Gretchen
Welcome, Bradley.
Bradley
Hello, guys. How are you? Hi, Gretchen, How are you?
Gretchen
We’re so happy to have you here.
Bradley
Yeah, I’m thrilled to be here.
Elizabeth
So, Bradley, your novel, obvious in hindsight, imagines the fight between tech politics, special interest groups and grifters around the issue of bringing flying cars to a big city. Yeah. So you were involved in bringing Uber to New York City? Yes. Was that your inspiration, Ocean, for this book? Yeah.
Bradley
I mean, it certainly was part of it. Uber was the first tech thing I ever worked on, and I ran the campaigns in New York and actually all over the U.S. to legalize ride sharing, but since then ended up opening a venture capital fund. So we’ve done about 55 investments at this point, and they’re generally things like Uber, where it is early stage startups in highly regulated industries.
Bradley
So it can be transportation like the annoying electric scooters that you see Monica, that yeah, it could be health care, fintech, gaming. But everything that we invest in in some way is heavily regulated by government.
Gretchen
Well, one of the things I loved about the novel was it’s very full of hilarious observations and details, very New York City, very Tom Wolfe, and it’s a novel about work. So it’s all people like managing the pleasures and annoyances of work. Were you keeping a notebook during all this time where you were writing down sort of like, this would be a great detail for my my novel one day?
Bradley
Yeah, it sort of. I mean, it took a really weird path, so it actually kind of makes sense to you, given your daytime job, which is it started off as a team. so yeah. How celebrity is all I don’t look. Yes.
Elizabeth
Yes.
Bradley
So Steven Soderbergh bought a Bolivian brandy company called Sin Gani. And what Steven sort of hadn’t quite thought through fully was alcohol is regulated, importation is regulated, and Bolivia is a communist country with whom we have no diplomatic ties. And so he had a bunch of political things that he needed the US Treasury Department to fix for him.
Bradley
And so he got introduced to me from a Hollywood person that we both knew, and I ended up running a campaign to change the federal regulations that allowed Steven to do what he wanted to do. And he said, Hey, these are the I can do for you. I just wrote my first book, The Fixer, and I said, I just wrote this book, Curious what you think.
Bradley
And he said, okay, I’m fine in London tonight. I’ll let me read it. I’ll send you know, I wake up the next day. Email for Stephen. We got to make this a script show.
Gretchen
Wow.
Bradley
All right. Fantastic. So I started thinking about, like, what should this be? And I knew it should be about a campaign because that’s what I do. And campaigns are sort of a good structure, right, for something like this. And I picked flying cars because at the time it felt further out there and it felt like, okay, it’s not like that’s going to happen tomorrow.
Bradley
So I can kind of make I can satirize it and it’ll be, you know, it’ll work. So Steve and I worked on a pilot together. I wrote the next nine episodes. Our big pitch meeting with Apple was set for March 10th, 2020. I can imagine that went nowhere. And then Stephen moved on to other stuff. But I liked kind of these characters and this world that created and I never a novel before, but I was like, Let me try and show that over a couple of year period, I converted it to a novel, came out and actually, ironically, now Stephen and I are working again on the show, so who knows what I’m learning about
Bradley
Hollywood? Nothing ever fully dies. But so I think I had so many different iterations between the episodes and then the book that I just kind of kept having chances to to plug stuff in here or there. You know, one of the things that I worried about a lot in the book is I have this very bad habit of saying and writing things to make myself amused or laugh.
Bradley
And so there’s a lot of stuff in there that I think is funny, and I’m not quite sure if anybody else thinks it’s funny. So when you say that, I mean, yeah, some of it seems to resonate, apparently. So that’s, that’s the thing.
Gretchen
It’s like.
Elizabeth
Absolutely. Well, let me ask you about this, because you make a case in the book that all a politician cares about is getting reelected. Yes. So to get them to do something, you basically just have to convince them that will get them elected or reelected. Yeah. So my question is, how can we apply that to our own lives?
Elizabeth
In your experience, how can we figure out what button to push with the people around us, whether it’s a boss, a coworker, a friend, what moves the needle? How do you figure out what moves the needle with people?
Bradley
So ultimately, in politics, politicians make every decision solely thinking about who’s going to vote in my next primary. And then based on that, that governs all of their choices. But that’s human nature, right? People do things that are in their self-interest. The reason why we’re so frustrated with our politics is we keep saying why can’t these politicians just do the right thing and be better people even when it’s not in their interests?
Bradley
Politicians don’t do that, but human beings generally don’t do that. So whether that’s your boss or your professor or whoever in your life has some sort of authority over you, if what you want is not in their interests, they’re not going to do it right. And you I mean, all the time people come to me and ask me to do something and they tell me why.
Bradley
It’s great for that. And at the end of the conversation, I’m like, okay, but why do I care about this? Right? Whereas if the same people pitch me and I have a foundation that gives out money and a venture capital fund that invests money, you know, so I’ve all kinds of different ways that people are pitching me. If you can say, I know, Bradley, that you care about this, this and this, and here’s how my idea will further your goals on A, B, and C, then I’m interested, right?
Bradley
I may or may not do it, but we’re having a real conversation about it. If you just come in and tell me I have this great idea and here’s why, it’d be good. You know, for me, like that doesn’t get you anywhere at all. And so you got to align inputs and outputs, and what you want to happen has to be in the best interest of the person you’re pitching it to, and you have to frame it to them that way.
Gretchen
Well, and switching to sort of getting ourselves to do what we want ourselves to do, which is an equal challenge in life. I know you took the Habits for Happiness quiz. I did. So what answer did you get? And did it did it ring true?
Bradley
Yes, I got Boost your energy through consistency. Yes, very much so. I would say that I’ve spent a lot of times last years really honing in on my physical and mental health. And I think I’ve made a lot of progress on exercise and nutrition and add therapy, all kinds of stuff. And where I still really struggle with sleep, I still don’t get more than about 6 hours a night.
Bradley
I’m always tired. I live, I’m drinking energy drink right now. I know that my mood would be better. My mental health, my perspective, my disposition would all be improved if I got more aroused. I really struggle. And it’s not for lack of effort. It’s a little bit of lack of time. But, you know, I’ve invested in sleep hygiene and I am trying really hard to do the right things, but I am very bad at it.
Bradley
And so I was not at all surprised to get the response that I got because it is far and away the greatest impediment to my happiness and property.
Gretchen
Well, I’m sorry to hear that this is a challenge for you, but I have to say I’m glad as the person who designed the quiz, that, yeah, you felt like you got so happier. Cars.com slash quiz. If you want to take the quiz, I’m glad to hear it worked for you.
Elizabeth
Okay, Bradley, Finally, we like to ask all of our guests for a try. This at home tips something practical that we can all implement into our daily lives to be happier and more productive. Do you have a suggestion?
Bradley
Yeah, actually, I turned 50 a few months ago and I wrote a piece on Medium kind of 50 Reflections of Turning 50, and the last ten or so were all productivity type tips. And I think the one that maybe is worth sharing is I try to do stuff right away, right? So I get an email, I read direction, you’re the same way.
Bradley
So Gretchen and I are good friends personally, so we interact a lot. I like I email gretchen, our techs. Gretchen I get a response right away and the reason why I think we both do this. Tell me if I’m wrong. Yeah, partly because we’re happy to interact with each other, but more just like it is the best way to deal with things, right?
Bradley
Which is if I can do something now, I just do it. I don’t put everything on a list and then just sort of like, you know, sit around and try to figure out how to be more productive. There are things that take more time or planning, but anything that I can sort of just knock off immediately, I just do it immediately.
Bradley
And as a result, I think I am one much more efficient and productive. But two, I have a lot more time to do the things that I want to do because I’m not sort of dragged down by like, yeah, I got to respond to that email and I got to make that call and I got to click on that thing.
Bradley
Now where you’ll be annoyed is we’re having a conversation and I’m also responding to someone else’s email or by something I have or whatever it is. I hope I don’t know that it is a great human trait, but it is highly productive and efficient.
Gretchen
Yeah, well, weird sometimes. Like with the one minute rule, you you can do in less than a minute do without delay. So it’s all these ideas of like bring out the little things so you don’t get weighed down by all the little things that just add up to really weighing us down. Right. Well, thank you so much. It was so fun to talk to you.
Bradley
Thanks for having me, guys. I really I really appreciate it. And thank you both. And thanks for the book.
Elizabeth
Thanks, Bradley. Coming up, Gretchen has a repeat demerit. This is a repeat from childhood. But first, this break.
[music]
Elizabeth
Okay gretch, we are back with demerits and gold stars and you have a happiness demerit that I’ve heard from you many times.
Gretchen
Yeah. So I’m a hair twister. When I was young, I thought I would outgrow hair twisting. Spoiler alert. No, I did not outgrow hair twisting. But there was a period recently where I sort of wasn’t twisting my hair very much. And I did. I noticed it and I thought, wow, that’s interesting. Maybe I am finally outgrowing hair twisting.
Gretchen
And then also without me really understanding why I started twisting it again. And I don’t know, I’m like and maybe other hair twisters want to weigh in, but like, maybe it’s the literally like the length of my hair or the weather that makes the texture of my hair more fun to twist or less fun to twist. Like, I don’t know why I sort of lightened up on the twisting, so I don’t know why now it’s coming back, but I’m trying to make myself more aware of that because I guess the bigger mystery is why did I stop?
Gretchen
Because my status quo is that I am twisting it or inclined to conscious of the fact that I’m just. So anyway, I’m giving myself this to married again because it’s a way to bring it up into consciousness life. So I want to pay more attention to patterns in my hair twisting. Okay, but how about you, Elizabeth? What is your gold star this week?
Elizabeth
Well, I’m sort of giving myself a gold star, Gretchen, but it’s it’s for the weekend away I just had. So we went away for the weekend with a group and stayed at this RV park in a cabin, which I probably talked about last year when I did.
Gretchen
I remember you doing a.
Elizabeth
Great time, and Adam played in a golf tournament, and here is why I’m giving myself a gold star. It was an extremely rainy weekend, and normally I am the person who has the whole week up. I just be like walking around the house. Is it going to be raining? Is it going to be raining? Should we even go like this?
Elizabeth
It’s terrible. It’s going to be raining. And then we’d get there and it’d be raining and I’d be like, It’s raining. And, you know, we spent money on this cabin and we’re doing this. And what does this mean? Yeah, and I just decided I just did not care about the rain. I just decided it says raining. It’s raining.
Elizabeth
Who cares, right? Like we’ll be inside. Adam will golf or he won’t golf. Jack had a friend with him, which was great. And like, if they are just in the cabin, they’re in the cabin. It’s raining and it’s not my problem that it’s raining. We had the dogs. I’m like, The dogs are going to get wet. It’s fine.
Elizabeth
I have a towel. I’ll drive them off and I just let it go. My anxiety over the weather and I had a great time and it really didn’t matter that it was raining. And plus, side note, Adam did get to golf, which was good.
Gretchen
Did you start fretting and then stop or did you just the minute that the rain started, you could see that this was going to start becoming irksome and you nipped it in the bud?
Elizabeth
Well, I saw that it was going to be raining days in advance. It was very clear that it was going to be raining. It was a big storm coming in. And so I started fretting and then I don’t know why because it’s very unlike me. I had the wherewithal to just let it go.
Gretchen
Well, it’s funny because the weather is like if you were going to say, what is something in your life that you have absolutely no control over, it is the weather. Yes. You can control. Like, do you bring an umbrella? Do you wear a hat? Do you bring waterproof shoes? But you cannot control the weather. And you were just like, I can’t control the weather.
Elizabeth
Yeah. So anyway, I’m happy because I fully I had enjoyed it, had a great time. And, you know, the rain in some ways made it very cozy and fun. We don’t get a lot of rain in Southern California, so.
Gretchen
Well, and it’s interesting, too. It might have been that even if you’ve been anxious and worried about it all the time leading up to it, once it started, you might have enjoyed it and had fun with it, but you would have had all the downer of worrying about it ahead of time. Yes. Whereas this way, if it’s terrible, it’s terrible, and I’ll just experience that when it happens.
Gretchen
But I don’t need to worry about it now and then when it actually happened, it wasn’t terrible at all.
Elizabeth
So yes. So lesson for life. Yeah. Not to worry about that. What you cannot control. Yes. Yes.
Gretchen
Why is whether or not this other guy.
Elizabeth
Not.
Gretchen
Doing the research for this week. Well we were talking about badges earlier for all these fun things that you can do in the happier app, you can now get badges because people do love a badge. It’s a form of Gold Star. It is such a fun new feature. Elizabeth, you and I are enjoying getting our badges. If you want to start earning badges yourself, you can sign in or sign up at the happy or app.com.
Gretchen
I’m shared them on social media. You get a gold star from us for every badge you complete. So again that is the happier app dot com or I’ll link to it from the show notes. Elizabeth, what are you reading?
Elizabeth
I am still reading. My name is Barbara by Barbara Streisand.
Gretchen
I am reading Heretics by G.K. Chesterton. And that’s it for this episode of Happier. Remember to try this at home. Allow a tradition to evolve. Let us know if you tried it and if it worked for you.
Elizabeth
Thank you to our guest, Bradley Tusk. You can read his novel Obvious in Hindsight and listen to his podcast Firewall. Thanks to our executive producer Chuck Reed and everyone at Cadence 13, get in Touch Questions on Instagram threads, Facebook and Tik-tok at Gretchen Rubin. And I’m on Instagram and threads at Liz Craft. Our email address is podcast of Gretchen Rubin dot com.
Gretchen
If you listen to this podcast, give yourself a badge for being a podcast listener, and then if you recommend a show to a friend, give yourself a gold star for that.
Elizabeth
Until next week, I’m Elizabeth Craft.
Gretchen
And I’m Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and upward.
Gretchen
So, Elizabeth, I mean, it seems like there’s been so much more rain lately. Are you sort of having to adjust to that in California?
Elizabeth
Yes, it’s really different. But, you know, this year is the first time there’s been as much rain in February as there was in February 1998, which is when Sarah and I moved to L.A. So we moved in the rain. so it’s reminding me of that time when we moved here because it’s very similar.
Gretchen
That’s very five senses, because I bet it’s the smell of the rain. Yes, the feel of the rain and the falling against the windows. It’s it’s unusual in Los Angeles. So it brings back that time. That’s lovely.
Elizabeth
Yeah. So we’re getting a kick out of that. Sarah and I.
Gretchen
From the onward Project.