Try This At Home
Suggest the default option.
Happiness Hack
Ask yourself, “Do I need more information, or do I need to make a decision?”
Happiness Stumbling Block
If you no longer enjoy an activity that you’ve enjoyed for a long time, such as gardening or holiday decorating, try skipping a year.
Sometimes, to keep going, we have to allow ourselves to stop.
Deep Dive: More Everyday Luxuries
In episode 435, we talked about why cultivating everyday luxuries can make us happier. I shared a list of some of people’s favorite luxuries, and we couldn’t resist discussing some additional ones.
One listener recommends this neck fan.
Another listener suggests her favorite pen. Beautiful tools make work a joy.
Demerits & Gold Stars
Gretchen’s Demerit: I should review my calendar more closely and more regularly.
Elizabeth’s Gold Star: She gives a gold star to all the terrific camp counselors.
Resource
Looking for more ways to have fun outside this summer? Download the free “Scavenger Hunt” PDF to see how many items you can find.
If you’re participating in the #Outside23in23 challenge, you can use the Scavenger Hunt as a way to add some fun and interest to your daily 23 minutes.
What we’re reading
439
[Music]
Gretchen
Hello and welcome to a Happier A podcast where we talk about how to be happier. This week we’ll talk about why you might suggest the default option. And we’ll talk about a way to handle the common happiness stumbling block of just not enjoying something that you used to enjoy. I’m Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness, the five senses, Human Nature.
Gretchen
I’m in my little studio in New York City, and joining me today from Los Angeles is my sister, Elizabeth Craft. My sister the sage.
Elizabeth
That’s me, Elizabeth Craft, a TV writer and producer living in L.A. But right now, I’m headed to New York very soon to see you.
Gretchen
This is so great. We’re seeing each other so much this year. It’s fantastic. Yes. Well, speaking of things that we’re very happy about and do not regret, we are going to do a very special episode about regret. So send us your insights and observations about your own life, your regrets, what you’ve learned from regret, how you’ve avoided regret.
Gretchen
Regret is a painful emotion, but it’s a very useful and instructive emotion. So we want to dive deep and we would love to hear what you think.
Elizabeth
Yes, we have our regrets and we’re curious about everyone else’s. Yes. Gretchen we got an interesting rebel related email and this is from anonymous. Let me read it. They say, I’m wondering what you might have to say about and what your listeners might have experience with being a rebel who also has ADHD. My daughter, now in college, was diagnosed a number of years ago with ADHD after flying through grade school is the very smart and creative kid she was.
Elizabeth
Things began to fall apart in middle school as complying with more expectations became a major issue for her. I asked her to take the Four Tendencies quiz several years ago and expected she would turn out to be an obliger who needs a lot of outer accountability and was surprised to discover she is a rebel. Having just recently read the Four Tendencies book, I am now seeing so much more than I had previously.
Elizabeth
One of the things I see now is that part of what the school kept focusing on for her ADHD was breaking down tasks more so she would have to hand in smaller parts of assignments more frequently, and it never seemed to help. It suddenly connected for me that this was the complete opposite of what would work for her rebel nature, because she now had even more outer expectations to meet more deadlines, etc..
Elizabeth
I am hoping there might be some other ADHD rebels out there who might have some insightful thoughts to offer others like them.
Gretchen
Well, this is a great question. If you don’t know what we’re talking about with the Four Tendencies personality profile, you can take the quiz at quiz.gretchenrubin.com and find out if you are a rebel and obliger or a questioner or an upholder and find out a little bit more there. But you know, what is interesting is that many, many people over the years have emailed me with various questions about the rebel tendency and ADHD.
Gretchen
And this is just something that I don’t know about. So I would love to hear from listeners who have observations to offer this person.
Elizabeth
Yes. So send those and then we can do a follow up, Gretch. Yeah.
Gretchen
Whether you’re the rebel, you’ve worked with rebels, your own experience, your insights, your observations, your questions. I mean, we can all learn from each other, So send them my way and we will report back. Right. And to try this at home, tip is to suggest the default option.
Elizabeth
Okay. So what do you mean by that, Gretch?
Gretchen
Okay. What I have noticed is that when we’re trying to coordinate with other people, you’re trying to figure out a place. You’re trying to figure out a time, you’re trying to figure out a plan. What I now do is that if it is all acceptable, I suggest the default option. So let’s say I’m trying to make a lunch plan with somebody.
Gretchen
I say I love the restaurant or say at 75th and Lexington, but I’m happy to go anywhere or Elizabeth, when we are recording with guests, I say, because of my sister’s fabulous Hollywood job, we have very narrow windows of recording. Can these work? And I list different days with our very narrow window of recording. And then I say and if that doesn’t work, we’ll figure something out.
Gretchen
But here’s the thing. Almost always people are like, that’s fine, right? I made things easy for myself without being rude, and turns out that’s fine. So if you’re proposing something, suggest the default option and it might save everybody time and headache and make your life a lot easier.
Elizabeth
Yes, because the truth is, many of us have decision fatigue. We just don’t want to decide. People like I don’t care as long as I don’t have to decide. So even though it feels like you’re sort of being a little pushy, maybe suggesting a time or a place, it’s usually the case that people are just happy with that time and place.
Elizabeth
And if they’re not, they’ll say, yes, they don’t want to go to 75th. They’ll say, Oh, could we do something closer to Midtown? Yeah, and you’re really doing everyone a favor.
Gretchen
You can just skip a lot of back and forth with that. And also, one of the things is sometimes by setting a default option, you actually allow yourself to persist in something. So I know someone who is one of these people where he’s often asked, Can I do an informational interview? Can I pick your brain? Will you talk to my kid who’s entering this field?
Gretchen
He’s very happy to do it, but it takes a lot of time. And so he decided to batch it and he sets aside a day every month. And that’s like career counseling day. And so when somebody reaches out to him, he’s like, okay, yeah, let’s find a time on this Friday, the 28th or whatever, whatever the day is, slots it in and at the day is full, then he takes it to the next month.
Gretchen
Unless it’s something where it’s pressing or something. And again, the default is not written in stone. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. This is just about all things being equal. Can I set this up to make it very straightforward and easy? Yeah.
Elizabeth
Gretchen The other night I had dinner with a few moms, and it was the typical. Well, okay, we’re having dinner now. Where do we want to go? So I sort of put out there three options, and then everyone kept saying, I’m fine with anything, I’m fine with anything. So finally I just picked the one I wanted to go to.
Elizabeth
But I.
Gretchen
Could.
Elizabeth
Have said from the beginning, Hey, how about Carson Vega at 7 p.m.? And everybody probably would have said, Great. And we could have. Yes. Not had all the texts about everyone being fine with anything. So I should have just gone straight to the default option. I halfway went there and then didn’t go the whole way.
Gretchen
Well, right, because I think it seems more considerate to give people lots of options, but that’s very confusing. And I think the more people who are involved, the more confusing it can get. Your story Elizabeth is making me think often with my book club. So with book clubs like our Mothers Book Club, they pick all their books for a year in advance.
Gretchen
And I really do think that sort of best practices, that is not what my book clubs do. So there it is. And so we’re often trying to figure out what we want. And what I realize is I should now come with a book that I want to read and say like, Hey, I really want to read this book.
Gretchen
How does this sound? Because often people are very excited. Or if I read something that I loved and I say, Oh, I think everybody would love this book because we do not have the rule that it has to be a book that no one has read. We often like a book where somebody is really championing it because we know that at least one person thinks it’s really good.
Gretchen
But I have a giant stack of books that I want to read. Of course, I can’t think of them when I show up, but I should decide in advance. All things being equal, is there a book that I think would be great for the group and suggested? Because, as you say, they’re thrilled to be given an option and to just short circuit the whole process?
Elizabeth
Yes. Gretch, another place, this comes up all the time in L.A. is when you’re going to somebody’s house and you ask, what should I bring. In L.A. everybody always brings something and the worst question is, what should I bring? Even though I myself ask people, what should I bring?
Gretchen
Yeah.
Elizabeth
So what you really should do is either tell people what to bring, like is and you get the back and forth of bring anything you want or. Yeah. Or when this whole situation comes up, say, hey, why don’t I bring the fruit salad? How does that sound? Or Whoa, how about if I bring dessert and then they can say yes.
Elizabeth
Ah, oh, I already have dessert. Or you already have that. But again, then they can just say, Great, and you’re not making your hostess or host tell you what to bring, which is working in and of itself. Or if you are the host and you do have thoughts, just put them out there right away. Can someone bring dessert?
Gretchen
And somehow it seems easier and more polite to me as the one who’s hosting is. If you’re like, How about I bring fruit salad? It seems easier for me to be like, Hey, actually somebody else is bringing fruit salad. How about bread? That feels easier than somebody says, Oh, let me know if I can bring something.
Elizabeth
And you’re issuing, right.
Gretchen
It just feels more gracious. Also, Elizabeth, for people like you and me who are not so into this, some people take great pleasure and, oh, I’m going to try this and this will be fun. It’s kind of nice if you want to bring fruit salad and like you always get the same fruit salad and that’s your thing. It’ll be easier for you to as the person giving it because you’ve suggested a default, you’ve put it in your wheelhouse.
Elizabeth
Absolutely. No, that is key. And I think, yeah, friends know that I’m not a cook. So that.
Gretchen
Mine to.
Elizabeth
Expected that it won’t be something I’ve cooked. But yes, that’s why I like dessert or fruit salad, because there are things that I can acquire. So anyway that goes into the default option again.
Gretchen
Well, and also if you’re willing to do the work of suggesting a default, let’s say it’s a group vacation and you’re like, Hey, why don’t we all go to Key West? Yeah, a lot of times people are like, Oh gosh, it’s so much work to even say Key West, let’s do your plan. And so if you’re the kind of person who likes to get your way, yeah, because you’ve done the work, you get to have a greater hand in the choice and everybody’s fine with that.
Elizabeth
Yes. So my sister in law, Michelle has been wonderful about finding houses for us to go to as a family. And I’m so grateful when she says, Here are three links, what do you think? Everyone is just so happy not to be the person scowling and scrolling and scrolling. Yeah, it’s really a service to suggest the default option.
Elizabeth
It is sometimes it requires work in the case of Michelle and finding the house, and sometimes it requires no work and just picking a restaurant.
Gretchen
So. Right. Well, let us know how you do try this at home and how suggesting the default option works for you. And what are the contexts in which you do this? Because I have a feeling, Elizabeth, this is something that we could do much more of if we thought about it. Yes, At least in my life. I bet there are more places where I could just say, How about this?
Gretchen
Does this sound okay? And just get rid of a lot of decision fatigue. Yes. Let us know on Instagram. Tik Tok, Twitter, Threads, Facebook Drop us an email at podcast@gretchenrubin.com Or as always, you can go to the show notes this is happiercast.com/439 for everything related to this episode.
Elizabeth
Coming up we have a happiness hack that’s also related to decision making. But first this break.
[Music]
Okay, Gretchen, it is time for this week’s happiness hack.
Gretchen
Yes. And this is also about coordinating with other people and making decisions. And this is something that I realized is something that I do that is not good. It’s essentially a way to stall and I realize that what I do is I tell myself I am not moving forward with something because I need more information. Often it’s information related to talking to someone else or coordinating with someone else when in fact I just need to make a decision.
Gretchen
So the key question to ask myself, I’m realizing, is do I need more information? Do I need to consult with this person or do I actually need to make a decision? For instance, Eliza, Eleanor and I are going to Kansas City this summer, and I was telling myself, this was weeks ago. Now time is up. I need to talk to Jamie and talk to Jamie about when we’re going to go.
Gretchen
But then I realize it doesn’t matter to him when we go, right? I mean, he wants to know when we’re going, but when we go will not depend on anything from him. And he doesn’t want to be involved. Right. Why does he want to have that kind of conversation? Setting dates is such an annoying process. Yes. He doesn’t want to be pulled into that.
Gretchen
But I was just stalling because I really do not like that process myself. And so I was just it’s so hard to coordinate with Jamie. It’s a great way to procrastinate because I’m like, Yeah, so but I don’t need to. And so to me, it’s the question, do I need more information? Do I need to coordinate with this person or do I just need to make a decision?
Elizabeth
Yeah, no, I love this hack because I do the exact same thing. I think many of us do like buying plane tickets. Is the number one time this comes up again with the Kansas City. I could buy plane tickets for Christmas today. Yeah, we should. I should for the price. I don’t need to talk to Adam again. I always tell myself I have to sit down and talk to Adam.
Elizabeth
But we go basically the same days every time we go, because.
Gretchen
It’s the school schedule.
Elizabeth
Yeah. So there’s nothing stopping me. So often. Making a decision actually gives you so much more freedom in the sense of not making a decision. Often is making a decision. Yes, Right.
Gretchen
And the stewing is worse than the doing. Yes.
Elizabeth
So it’s a great thing to ask yourself, because we all do that stalling tactic.
Gretchen
And here’s another example. So I need to buy a new bathing suit. And Eleanor, my daughter is very fashiony and there’s a bathing suit store, literally a block from my apartment, which of course, I have never walked into. But I see it, it’s there. And I kept saying to myself, Oh, I’ll wait and go when Eleanor can go with me and she can advise me and I’ll go wait and go with Eleanor.
Gretchen
And I’m sure Eleanor would have been perfectly cheerful, but like, for me to buy a bathing suit, I’ll be lucky if there’s one option in there that I find to be acceptable. Yeah. This is not a place where I am weighing 50 choices with all kinds of deep thought. Right. I’ll just go in and buy something decent at a decent price and walk out.
Elizabeth
Right. You’re not anxious to do a 50 bathing suit fashion session with.
Gretchen
So they’re not going to be that many choices. Yeah. Yeah. It’s very straightforward. And yet again, why was I doing this? Because really deep down, I was just stalling. And by pretending that I needed to coordinate with Eleanor, it was just allowing me to pretend like I couldn’t just walk out the door and go, Yeah. And the minute that I realized Eleanor does not need to be there, in fact, she’d just slow me down.
Gretchen
Right then I was just able to just leave, go and come back. It took the whole thing, took 25 minutes.
Elizabeth
And now it’s not weighing on.
Gretchen
You. And now it’s not weighing on me. Yes. And I was just stalling. I was just stalling. But I was pretending to myself that I needed that coordination and I did that. So the question is, do I need more information? Do I need to coordinate or do I just need to make a decision? I think it’s going to save you and me a lot of time.
Gretchen
Yes. And now for having a stumbling block. Okay. A very common happiness stumbling block is when there’s something that may is fairly taxing, but that you love to do you this is something you really enjoy doing, but it does require a lot of work and at a certain point you just get tired of it. You get tired of the work, you get tired of the project, and all of a sudden something that has been kind of a source of pleasure and activity for you now is something that you do not look forward to.
Gretchen
And so we got a great suggestion from a listener.
Elizabeth
Yeah. And Gretchen, some examples of this kind of thing are someone who always hosts Thanksgiving dinner every year or a family who always hosts a back to school party every year, right? That type of thing.
Gretchen
Right? Or like at work, you’re the person who’s always deciding, okay, what’s our monthly fun afternoon activity going to be? And it’s something that you like to do, but all of a sudden it just is something that you don’t enjoy anymore. What do you do?
Elizabeth
And we got a great suggestion from our listener Jeannie. She says, Skip a year. A lot of what makes us happier is doing things I am pondering and practicing being happier by skipping a year of my garden. By my garden I mean four tomato plants and a handful of tomatoes, maybe a squash. Anyway, I decided to skip a year of planting it as I was starting to dread getting started.
Elizabeth
I’m actually looking forward very much to next year Garden. My sister would skip Christmas decor for a year in the same manner and started to like the holidays more.
Gretchen
I think this is a great suggestion because sometimes to keep going we have to allow ourselves to stop and that helps us maintain enthusiasm over the long run. Elizabeth This reminds me of our mother is really, she does a beautiful job of decorating and for Christmas we have so many really exceptional and gorgeous Christmas decorations. It’s a very big deal in our family, but it takes a lot of work for both my mother and my father.
Gretchen
Yes, it was. Who is the helper? It’s a lot of work. And there was a year when you were about to give birth to Jack, whose birthday is mid-December, and we all decided that we would just take a year off of the Kansas City Christmas. And we had this whole other plan. And so mom and dad basically did not do.
Gretchen
I don’t think that they did any Christmas decoration or if they did, it was just very, very skeletal. And I think mom enjoyed it. Right. And I think dad enjoyed it because it’s really fun. But it’s nice to have a break. And then the next year it’s more fun because you haven’t seen all that stuff in a while.
Elizabeth
Yes, absolutely. You can see another example. This would be people who go skiing every year. Yeah, because skiing is just so much work in and of itself, just with the equipment and the moving pieces. Yes. So you could skip a year and then be more excited about it next year.
Gretchen
Well, I have some friends where in the summer they go to this very cute little town and there’s always a big 4th of July parade. And this little town, you know, with the fireman and all that, you know, very quaint. And they had started having a brunch after the parade and it got bigger and bigger. And basically by the last year, they were hosting the whole town and everybody was counting on it.
Gretchen
Even before the invitations went out, they had somehow become part of the the official calendar of this little village. And so they had to do a renovation on their house. So they thought, okay, let’s do a renovation that goes over July. So we cannot host this party and everybody will know it will get a year off and then the next year will come back re-energized for the holiday party.
Gretchen
I thought that was funny to just do the renovation. So you’re officially off the hook.
Elizabeth
Yeah, because Gretchen, if you don’t give yourself a break when you need one, you may end up just giving up the tradition altogether, which you really don’t want to do.
Gretchen
Absolutely. If it’s something that brings you pleasure and energy and enthusiasm, you want to keep it going. And sometimes to keep going, we have to let ourselves stop.
Elizabeth
Now, the one caveat to that, Gretchen, is you also want to make sure, though, you don’t then just drift off, right? If it’s something that you love, you want to make sure that you really plan the next year to go through with it. Yes, Mom, of course, would know that the next year she would go back to her decorations.
Elizabeth
You know, like I did a thing where I skipped a school function that I usually go to, and then I haven’t gone since.
Gretchen
Because I.
Elizabeth
Just fell out of the habit. So now I have to ask myself, well, do I want to continue this habit? Or actually do I not want to?
Gretchen
Which can be a positive thing to reflect on. But it’s also true that this is like we talk about with habits, sometimes starting over is harder than starting. So you want to make sure that you’re thinking like, I’m just taking a break, I’m not stopping or I’m not quitting if you don’t want to, of course you can always change your mind, but that’s a very good cautionary point, which is you don’t want to end up making a decision by default without mindfully choosing.
Gretchen
Yes, now we’ve got more everyday luxury, so we’re going to do these lightning round style. So Elizabeth, let’s just bang through them. It’s so fun to hear people’s everyday luxuries. It makes me feel like my own life is so much more luxurious because when people point out the pleasure in these little things, I don’t know about you, but I feel more pleasure in them.
Elizabeth
Absolutely.
Gretchen
You know my electric kettle? Who? Yeah, of course. I love my electric kettle. The first few are long, but then we’ll just do them very quickly.
Elizabeth
Okay. Laura, listening from England, says, When I was little, my mom would usually serve my toast, cut into rectangles on special occasions. She would cut it into triangles whenever I am served, toes cut into triangles. I always think it is luxurious. I told my husband about this a while ago and now if he sees me cut my toast into triangles will ask What’s the occasion?
Elizabeth
I sometimes do this just to give myself a little boost before work in the morning.
Gretchen
Lisa says this week’s podcast is timed perfectly with my recent revelation to plan a European summer. To me, this means eating meals outside, wearing dresses, eating fruit and going on nice walks. What makes me excited about this plan is that it reframes normal things as something luxurious, because of course, everything European is more luxurious. I don’t have any major travel plans for the season, but romanticizing these everyday life things with this framing will add a little more joy and gratitude to my summer, and she lists a few other everyday luxuries fresh.
Gretchen
Finel, grated cheese is more luxurious than normal grated cheese and hanging flower baskets. I love hanging flower baskets.
Elizabeth
Yes, Catherine says, eating anything with a toothpick, especially olives. Rebecca says.
Gretchen
I placed a lip balm in every spot I might use one. It felt extravagant in the beginning because I bought so many, underbuyer here. But of course I didn’t go through them faster. So after the initial expense, it returned to the normal restocking costs. I think this is true that sometimes just having a lot of something like chargers or sunglasses feels luxurious because you just always have them at the ready.
Elizabeth
Yes, Kayla said tiered pants hanger. My husband loves this for his dress pants.
Gretchen
Brian says dedicated space. Office that’s just an office, dog room that’s just the dog’s, guestroom that’s just for guests, etc..
Elizabeth
Sarah said, I’ll share another great purchase, this time to help support Go outside 23 and 23 as we enter the hot summer months. My sister gifted me a neck fan to help support my efforts to keep going outside. The fan blows up air into your face and neck. I find that it really helps to keep me cooler. It is rechargeable, lightweight and very effective.
Elizabeth
It has three settings and is also quiet enough to carry on conversations. Hear your surroundings and not bother or distract others and we’ll link to the one that she suggests.
Gretchen
This is a luxury that is very sensory focused, which I appreciate, Jaclyn says. I wanted to share a luxury that I noticed my coworker practices every morning. He insists on making his cup of coffee and a very ornate Lenox mug and sips it while driving to work. When I first heard this, it sounded a bit ridiculous, but then I thought it was a simple way to create a very luxury feeling on a daily basis.
Gretchen
I didn’t realize how many of the senses he was using in this ritual until I counted. Smell, his car now smells of the heavenly cup. Touch, the ornate pattern on the coffee cup. Taste, topped with whipped cream. This is a luxe coffee. Seeing, he can see the whipped cream melt and swirl into the coffee. Love the use of the senses.
Elizabeth
Wonderful. Kate says, I often end my day by taking a good book up to my roof deck with the wide open sky above and watching the sunset behind the National Cathedral here in Washington, D.C.. Yes, I and a few other devoted neighbors have our own little Sunset Club a-la Key West and the sunsets, often spectacular, are different every single night.
Elizabeth
Nature puts on her own show, and I am there in the front row.
Gretchen
Susanna said, preheating my bed with a heated blanket for a few minutes before I go to.
Elizabeth
Bed. Our mother loves that. Yeah. Peggy said. My seat heater in my car. I second that. Love a seat heater.
Gretchen
It’s interesting. A lot of these luxuries have to do with temperature control. Yes, Just by the way, noticing that. And then finally, Kristen says, I absolutely love writing with fountain pens. However, they can be quite pricey. I recently discovered the pilot makes fountain pens in a variety of colors and I had to try them out. They’re fantastic and write just as smoothly as a pricey fountain pen.
Gretchen
Highly recommend for a luxurious happiness boost to your day. And again, we will post a link to that. I do think a great pen is a great luxury. I think everybody’s idea of what a great pen is is different. But if you find a wonderful pen, it’s so, beautiful tools make work a joy.
Elizabeth
Yes. Thank you everyone, for those fantastic little everyday luxuries.
Gretchen
So fun.
Elizabeth
And coming up, Gretchen gives herself a calendar related demerit. But first this break.
[Music]
Okay, Gretch, it’s time for demerits and gold stars. You’re up this week with the happiness demerit.
Gretchen
Yes. Now, this is a repeat demerit, but again, I’m hoping eventually it’ll sink in and I’ll stop doing it, which is that I need to review my calendar more closely. I have gotten better. At the end of a week. I will glance over my week to come and just look for major things. But what I’m realizing is that I need to look even more closely, like I really need to go through each day and imagine myself living that day because I’ve had things where I thought I had a call.
Gretchen
But it’s like, is this a zoom call? Am I calling this person? Are they calling me? I don’t know that I have to look it up at the last minute or I’ll have a hold and I’ll realize actually, I have a hold in a couple of places, which is the real thing. I need to take the hold off of the time once it’s been figured out, or if it hasn’t been figured out, I need to get it figured out.
Gretchen
I’m just realizing that I’m making my life more stressful by realizing that I have these issues as they’re coming up in the short term. And, you know, a lot of times it’s like I’m on the East Coast. If this is somebody on the West Coast, it’s just a lot easier and less stressful to figure this out in advance.
Gretchen
And a lot of times it is just a matter of ironing out a few ambiguous details. I do think it’s funny, Eleanor and I often talk about how we find things ambiguous that other people don’t find ambiguous. And so.
Elizabeth
Anyway, I’m not way too.
Gretchen
I want to do more calendar review.
Elizabeth
Yes, I have to say Gretch what happens to me is I realize over the weekend that I forgot to move a doctor’s appointment. That’s Monday morning, which. Yeah, that’s
Gretchen
The worst. Yeah, it’s the worst, right? Yeah. Now because some things are zoom. I’ve started doing this thing where I assume that something’s by zoom and so I have something back to back, but it’s actually in person. And so I have to have time to get from here to there, which that I usually leave 45 minutes or an hour, whereas on my calendar it might looks like there’s 10 minutes.
Gretchen
Yeah. So now I’m even, I’m trying to put in the thing live so that I know because now that’s a whole new thing to become ambiguous. Whereas it’s not ambiguous, it’s just I’m not paying attention. So anyway, how about you, Elizabeth? What is a gold star?
Elizabeth
All right, Gretch, this is a very summery gold star. I’m giving my gold star to camp counselors. Yes.
Gretchen
Yes.
Elizabeth
Adam and I took Jack to camp, and we all met at a ferry. And what was great is we actually got to meet his counselor, one of his main counselors and other kids in his cabin. But I am telling you, this counselor was just so enthusiastic, so nice, so welcoming. And they all are. And a great camp counselor has a lot to do.
Elizabeth
You know, it’s not an easy job. And these are young people. It’s a ton of responsibility. And you’re really holding someone’s heart in your hands, their camp can be very vulnerable.
Gretchen
Time. I remember my camp counselor, Bridgette, from the very first summer. I must’ve been 12 years old. I have never forgotten her. She made a huge difference in my life and my sense of myself.
Elizabeth
Absolutely.
Gretchen
And now, looking back, what she was probably like, 19. Yeah, of course. I thought of her as being so advanced, but she definitely was still in college.
Elizabeth
Yes. These are very young people really taking on a lot of my experience. Most of them are fantastic. So big goldstar to camp counselors and those who choose wonderful counselors to work at their camps.
Gretchen
Absolutely. It makes such a difference. And the resource for this week, speaking of summer, if you are looking for more ways to have fun outside during the summer, if you’re trying to go outside 23 and 23 or to spend more time out of doors, you can download a very fun free scavenger hunt PDFs that gives you a whole bunch of things to look for, items that you can be trying to find as you go outside.
Gretchen
It can make your 23 minutes more fun or it can just be a fun activity. I always think that a quest is more fun than a jaunt, so I like having things to do and things to look for. So if you want to find that, go to thehappierapp.com/resources-aimhigh-ideas, or probably go to the show notes for a happiercast.com/439 and get the link there.
Gretchen
And Elizabeth, what are we reading?
Elizabeth
I am reading the Lion Game by Ruth Wear.
Gretchen
And I am just about to start rereading for like the thousandth time Story of a Soul by Saint Torres of Lycia. And that’s it for this episode of Happier. Remember to try this at home. Select the default option and let us know if you tried it and if it works for you.
Elizabeth
Thank you to our executive producer Chuck Reed, and everyone at Cadence 13. Get in touch Gretchen is on Threads and Instagram at Gretchen Rubin and I’m on Instagram and threads at Liz Craft. Our email address is podcast@gretchenrubin.com.
Gretchen
And there’s nothing that is an everyday luxury that is as good as a great podcast. When you were looking for a new podcast in your feed. So if you think that someone would enjoy the Happier podcast, give them an everyday luxury and forward them the information about the podcast, that really is how most people discover our show.
Elizabeth
Until next week, I’m Elizabeth Craft.
Gretchen
And I’m Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and Upward. So Elizabeth you know how I know summer is really here, how it is so hot in my little home office studio because the air conditioner is pretty loud. And so if I have the air conditioner on, I can’t have it on while we’re recording. And oh my gosh, by the time we’re done recording I am slick.
Elizabeth
With Sweat.
Gretchen
And summer is here.
Elizabeth
Yeah. Yup, yup. Now that you mention it, I can see your face is a bit shiny.
[Music]
Gretchen
From the onward project.