Update
Remember to sign up for my Four Tendencies virtual workshop about using the Tendencies to solve common conflicts in the workplace. Zoom: September 26: 7:30pm ET. Register at happiercast.com/workshop.
If you’re looking for the “What’s Your Neglected Sense?” quiz, it’s here.
Try This at Home
Start your 100 day countdown — as of September 23, there are 100 days left in 2023.
Find the Calendar of Catalysts here.
In episode 433, we talked about the Try-This-at-Home idea of “Raise morale by asserting willpower.” This idea comes from a passage in Christopher Isherwood’s brilliant memoir, My Guru and His Disciple:
I had given up the habit [of cigarette smoking] with difficulty in 1941, because I was upset about my parting from Vernon and wanted to raise my morale by asserting my willpower.
Happiness Hack
A listener reports that her local library offers artwork, DIY tools, educational toys, computers, and ukuleles as well as books. More reasons to visit the library!
Deep Dive: Rebels and School
We share listeners’ responses to two questions related to Rebels and school.
The first question came in episode 439, from a parent asking about her daughter who is a Rebel with ADHD, and the second question came in episode 445, from a parent asking about her son who is a Rebel going off to college .
We got so many thoughtful, constructive answers and suggestions—many from Rebels.
Don’t know about the Four Tendencies? Learn more about this personality framework here, and take the quiz to discover your own Tendency here.
Demerits & Gold Stars
Elizabeth’s Demerit: She hasn’t been making social plans, even though she gets so much happiness and energy from seeing friends.
Gretchen’s Gold Star: I give Elizabeth for organizing the Happier in Hollywood writers’ retreat so quickly and so well. (Want info? Email happierinhollywood@gmail.com.)
Resource
Remember to sign up for my Four Tendencies virtual workshop about using the Tendencies to solve common conflicts in the workplace. Zoom: September 26: 7:30pm ET. Register at happiercast.com/workshop
What We’re Reading:
Gretchen
Hello and welcome to Happier! A podcast where we discuss cutting edge science, the wisdom of the ages, lessons from pop culture, and our own experiences and listener’s experiences about how to be happier. This week we’ll talk about the fact that it’s time to start the 100 day countdown to the end of 2023 and we will take a deep dive into listener’s answers to two listener questions related to rebels and school Question about rebels and ADHD and rebels going off to college.
Gretchen
I’m Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness, good habits, the five senses, all things, human nature. I’m in New York City in my little home office. And joining me today from Los Angeles is my sister, Elizabeth Craft. And Elizabeth, I will be seeing you soon in Kansas City.
Elizabeth
That’s me, Elizabeth Craft, a TV writer and producer living in L.A.. And yes, Gretch. I can’t wait to do all our Kansas City things. Oh, yeah, Winstead’s.
Gretchen
Here we come. Barbecue.
Elizabeth
It’s all going to happen. Yeah. Okay, Gretchen, before we dive in, we want to remind everyone that we are planning for an upcoming episode about performance. Episode 450. We’re going to be talking about performance, so we’re asking for your ideas about how to improve performance, prepare for a performance, work on your stage fright for performance, all of that.
Gretchen
Yeah. And by performance we really mean being on stage, being in the spotlight. It’s the kind of performance where you’re like giving a toast or giving a presentation to a group or you’re on stage in some way. Even if it’s an invisible stage in a conference room.
Elizabeth
Yes, All eyes are on you.
Gretchen
Yes. I don’t know what sparked this, but I got a sudden rash of inquiries about where to find my Neglected Sense quiz. So if you want to take the quiz, What’s Your Neglected Sense? You can just look for the quiz on my site, gretchenrubin.com or just go to gretchenrubin.com/quiz and that will take you to the What’s Your Neglected Sense quiz and also The Four Tendencies quiz.
Gretchen
But I don’t know why people heard about it but didn’t know where to find it. So wherever you heard about it, I’m glad you did. And I hope you find it useful to learn what your neglected sense is. And Elizabeth and I, we share a neglected sense. Elizabeth. I don’t think that was a surprise to either of us.
Elizabeth
No Taste. Taste. We aren’t that adventurous.
Gretchen
No. Taste. Now. It’s a very popular, in the scores it’s most appreciated for many people, but not for us. Huh? So take the quiz. And one final update is I want to remind everyone that if you are interested in the Four Tendencies workshop about using the four tendencies at work, it’s happening next week, September 26 at 7:30 Eastern, and you can register at happiercast.com/workshop.
Elizabeth
Yes.
Gretchen
And this week our Try This at Home suggestion is to start the 100 day countdown on September 23rd. There are officially 100 days left in 2023. Wow. That’s very that’s that feels very fortunate. September 23rd for 2023, 100 days anyway. So, you know, 100 is like a good number. Feels like the right number to double down, reflect, start working towards the end of the year.
Elizabeth
Yeah, well, Gretch, you love a calendar catalyst. You even have a Calendar of Catalysts? Yes.
Gretchen
Yeah that’s at gretchenrubin.com/resources. If you want to see the Calendar of Catalysts of all the days. I love these a lot of these days are kind of very whimsical.
Elizabeth
So what can we do so we have 100 days left so the idea is to think about what you want to accomplish in the next hundred days and basically just start getting it done.
Gretchen
Yeah. And you might be into one of two positions. You might be doing great. Or if you want to take it up to a new level, you might be a marathoner or a sprinter in this context. So a marathoner is somebody like you’ve been trucking along, you’ve been trucking along, but you need to re-engage because over the course of the year, like maybe you were doing great going outside 23 and 23, but then, you know, it got really hot in the summer.
Gretchen
You kind of fell away. So now it’s time to re-engage. Keep that you’ve been going for so long, keep going, or you might want to engage for the sprint. Maybe you haven’t been doing something at all for the year, but suddenly now you’re like, okay, I’ve got 100 days, I’m going to do this. I’m going to get this done.
Gretchen
I’m going to scratch this off my list, or at least I’m going to do it for this amount of time. Again, for something like go outside 23 and 23, doing it for a hundred days. It’s kind of a nice round. Feels like a real accomplishment.
Elizabeth
Yeah, I know. For me, Gretchen, I had on my 23 for 23 lists, do Fryman 50, the hike I like to do, do it 50 times. Recently I talked about how I’m upping it to 100. Wow.
Gretchen
So you’re juggling.
Elizabeth
Is such a good.
Gretchen
Number. 100 days to get to 100 hikes.
Elizabeth
Yes. 100 days to get to 100 hikes. I definitely need to pick it up. So I have done, I think, about 68 hikes, but that’s still a lot more to do before the end of the year. So this is good for me. Well, Elizabeth.
Gretchen
I was meaning to tell you because I heard you talking about how you are doubling your aim for the Fryman 50 on Happier in Hollywood because you and Sarah were talking about it and you said that one of the reasons you were doing it is because you were so stressed out about the strike that this was something that felt like this was a way to respond constructively and healthfully in a time where you were feeling so much pressure.
Gretchen
And it reminded me of back in episode 433, we had to try this at home of raise morale by asserting willpower.
Elizabeth
MM That’s right.
Gretchen
I think that’s what you’re doing. And this was inspired by a passage from Christopher Isherwood’s super thought provoking memoir, My Guru and His Disciple. And Christopher Isherwood writes, I had given in. He’s talking about cigarette smoking. He said, I had given up the habit with difficulty in 1941 because I was upset about my parting from Vernon and wanted to raise my morale by asserting my willpower.
Gretchen
And it seemed to me that that was what you were doing as you were raising your morale by asserting your willpower by so dramatically upping your challenge for yourself.
Elizabeth
Yes, absolutely. So I will be reporting back. Of course, you know how that goes. Yeah, I feel like I’ve really put it out there. Have a lot of accountability to get to it. I think I will. Yeah. And then there’s other things like when I look at my 23 for 23 list, for instance, one of the easiest things on my list was to go on a hike in Ojai with Sarah, and that’s something I haven’t done.
Elizabeth
So now I’m like, okay, in the next hundred days, that must happen.
Gretchen
It’s so interesting that you say that because on my 23 and 23 list, I also find that you would think that you would do the easiest things first or that it would be easiest to do the easy things. But on my list, something that I really, really want to do would really, really help me out. And I think I’ve put it on my list a couple of years is to do 30 minutes of review, which is when I review reading material, sort of to sort through it.
Gretchen
And this is not that hard. You would think this would be easy for me. I mean, I’ve done everything. I’ve put it on my calendar. I’m finding it really, really hard to get this habit, even though, I mean, how can I say that it’s easy if I’m unable to do it right, but it feels like it should be easy.
Elizabeth
Well, you have 100 days. Maybe you should start and say you’re going to do it for 100 days. Yes. And that will be, again, the catalyst.
Gretchen
Well, you know, what I’m thinking is maybe I should do it for an hour on Saturday, in an hour on Sunday.
Elizabeth
Rather than trying to do. Yeah, every day.
Gretchen
That’s just not working. Right. So don’t keep trying to double down on something that for whatever. I don’t psychologically understand why that’s not working, but clearly it isn’t. So I think this is the hundred day is also a good time to do like that review and say, maybe I’m going about this in the way that’s not right for me.
Gretchen
Maybe I can get to the same destination, but take a different road. So I’m going to try that.
Elizabeth
And then of course, Gretchen, Sarah and I are writing our novel, so 100 days is a good time to be like, okay, let’s finish this baby in 100 days. I think we’re halfway through. Okay. I didn’t know. Of course, that’s just a draft, so we’re going to need to do a lot of rewriting.
Gretchen
It’s so much easier than writing.
Elizabeth
Yes, Yes. So we’re we’ve made a lot of progress, but it’s great to look at the 100 days and go, okay, we can do this.
Gretchen
Yeah, well, for me, it’s I really want to catch up on photo albums. This is something where, again, the longer I wait, the longer it’s going to take. So it’s not that hard and it really doesn’t take all that long. It’s just fiddly work that in my free time I don’t feel like doing, but I love having them and I really want to get it.
Gretchen
I will get this done by the end of 2023. So I’m using this as a reminder to get going on that. Let us of you to try this at home and how starting the 100 day countdown works for you. And what are you doing with your last 100 days? Let us know on Instagram, Threads, Tik Tok, Facebook. Drop us an email at podcast@gretchenrubin.com.
Gretchen
And as always, you can go to the show notes for this episode. It’s happiercast.com/448 because this is episode 448, for everything related to this episode.
Elizabeth
Coming up, we have a hack that gives you another reason to get your library card. But first this break.
Gretchen
Elizabeth, we love a happiness hack, and so many of our hacks have been related to libraries. We are huge, huge, huge fans of libraries and all that they offer. And here’s something, though, that I had not heard that they offer.
Elizabeth
Yes, this comes from Marie. She said, I thought you would get a kick out of this. I discovered that my county library not only has books, but you can also check out artwork, DIY tools, educational toys, computers, and ukuleles.
Gretchen
Yes, because.
Elizabeth
That’s for people who may not remember how you taught yourself how to play a song on the ukulele.
Gretchen
Yeah. Yeah. Not well, but I wish I had checked out a ukulele because maybe I could have in a two week period, realized that ukulele was not the thing for me because now I have a ukulele. Yeah, I love this. Who knew?
Elizabeth
Well, that’s great, because especially like educational toys or something, you know, kids go through so quickly, they become obsolete. So the idea that you could check it out is fantastic.
Gretchen
We’re also a DIY tool. Like maybe you’re really intrigued with something, but they can be expensive and also take up just a lot of room. So this way you could check it out, experiment. And then if it’s something that you really like, then maybe you would buy your own. But if you decide it’s not for you, then you just return it.
Gretchen
So yes. Or you just use it for one project and then you don’t have to deal with it. So that’s just wonderful. We love libraries.
Elizabeth
Yes.
Gretchen
And now for a deep dive into rebels and school. So we had two separate questions from listeners that were related to rebels in school. The first question came from a parent who was asking about her daughter, who is a rebel with ADHD in episode 439. And the second question was from a parent who was asking about her son, who is a rebel and who is preparing to go off to college in episode 445.
Elizabeth
Yeah, and we’re going to combine the answers because several listeners gave combined answers. So it seems like it’d be easier not to split them apart.
Gretchen
Yeah, so it got confusing. And one thing we just want to say is ADHD is a huge topic. It’s a super important subject. It’s specialized expertise. We do not claim that expertise and these are what listeners wrote. So use your own judgment, consult with your own experts. We don’t want to over claim here.
Elizabeth
Yes, absolutely. Okay. So, Gretchen, this comes from Winslow who says in response to the woman who is asking how to support her rebel son who is headed to college, I would offer this advice. Consider whether he may be struggling with ADHD. He sounds like my daughter, who has ADHD. She adopts rebel like attitudes to mask her inability to marshal the executive function required to achieve certain things in life.
Elizabeth
For instance, if she hasn’t followed the rules, she may say to herself and others, that rule is dumb. I’m not going to follow it. But what is really going on is that she didn’t have the executive function to follow that rule. She got in trouble and she’s masking her shame by claiming to not care about the rule. Rather than admit the truth, she couldn’t bring herself to follow it because her ADHD brain makes that much harder than the typical kids. To further support this idea that perhaps the writer’s son is struggling more than he lets on all share this other perspective.
Elizabeth
As a teacher, I often need to ask myself about a struggling child. Is this a won’t situation? The child can do something but refuses or a can’t situation. The child doesn’t yet have the ability to do something. Usually the biggest way to figure out the difference is to give the child plenty of scaffolding and appealing treats and unappealing consequences to avoid aligned with the target skill if he or she still doesn’t do it.
Elizabeth
Even if the student acts like they’re being defiant, we probably have a case of the student not being able yet as opposed to refusal. But the confusing part is a kid will often act out or say things to make you think they’re refusing. However, in my experience, these signs should be ignored. If the student has received support and rewards class consequences that they find motivating and they still don’t do the thing. This indicates that they simply don’t yet know how to do it, no matter what their other actions or words tell you.
Gretchen
Interesting.
Elizabeth
Yes. That’s really insight.
Gretchen
Yeah. And then relatedly, Kim, who is an ADHD coach, says, I was thrilled when you asked a listener question about ADHD and rebels on today’s podcast. I think this question highlights a really important but misunderstood issue related to managing one’s ADHD. It is common for school accommodations to be universal for all students with ADHD or for suggested strategies to be touted as ideal for everyone with ADHD.
Gretchen
But as this listener highlighted, her daughter is a rebel and does not respond well to outer accountability. So the common accommodation of breaking down tasks into smaller chunks actually backfires for her daughter. Many ADHD ers, including myself, are obligers so this strategy can work well for us, but it does not work well for everyone diagnosed with ADHD as a late diagnosed ADHDer and now a certified ADHD coach, I’m thrilled that this mom has had this realization that her daughter needs accommodations and strategies that are unique for her rebel tendency.
Gretchen
I actually use the Four tendencies framework often in my coaching sessions, as it is so helpful for understanding the role of accountability and helps my client see that people without ADHD may need some of the same strategies they need based on one’s tendency. In response to the question, I would advise the mom to create strategies for her daughter that focus first on her rebel tendency rather than centering first on her ADHD.
Gretchen
But it is important to not forget about how her daughter’s ADHD is also playing a role in the dynamic. So that’s somebody has got a lot of experience.
Elizabeth
Yes, Maggie said. I have been a public school teacher for over ten years and I recently worked with an elementary student who has ADHD and is also a rebel. She was in my daily small group for struggling readers to work on phonics and decoding. At first the student was very challenging for me to relate to and to reach.
Elizabeth
I am in an Obliger that leans Upholder. Many times the student would exhibit defensive and argumentative behavior. I realized how very challenging it would be to have both ADHD and rebel tendencies in a typical school setting. Sit down, stay still, listen to the story, Write about the story in your journal. All these tasks are about following instructions immediately and maintaining focus for an extended time. Throughout the year.
Elizabeth
I got to know her and the following ideas inspired by your work in The Four Tendencies helped a lot. I am pleased to share that at the end of the school year she had made significant growth in reading the ideas choice. I provide a choice whenever possible, even with something small. Would you like to stand up or sit on the wobble stool?
Elizabeth
Do you want to hold the site word cards or should I? Consequences. This student loved playing word Bingo. When she decided to lay down on the floor instead of read the story, I reminded her that if she did not complete the learning tasks promptly, there would be no time for a game. Identity. This student hated reading at the beginning of the school year.
Elizabeth
Over the year I worked with her to try to build her confidence and form an identity as a reader. I acknowledge that reading is a very difficult skill to learn and it is okay if she doesn’t like reading as long as she knows how to read. I showed her data that demonstrated her growth in words permitted on a regular basis.
Elizabeth
On the last day of group, I caught her sharing her reading growth certificate with her friends. Oh, that’s so great.
Gretchen
Arabella writes, I have two sons with ADHD. One of them is a rebel. We have found a couple of things helpful. First, his sense of identity is very strong. Once he identified as a clever kid, he was able to focus on academic work. And this really paid off with his studies. When we need him to do something, we have the most success appealing to his identity.
Gretchen
It even works what he realizes, what is going on. He will sometimes say, Oh, no, don’t do this to me. You know, I can’t resist. I think it’s true for many people with ADHD that a looming deadline is important to help them focus. And this is particularly true when it’s something they’re not interested in. My son leaves everything to the last minute, which drives me crazy.
Gretchen
We’ve realized that he needs this extra drive to get things done sometimes, and no amount of nagging earlier in the week or month, etc. will help him. And instead will trigger both his rebel tendencies and send him spinning off into what we call fizzy behavior with the inability to settle down to any work or even really hold a sensible conversation without getting distracted.
Gretchen
He can’t work effectively at all when he’s like this. Allowing him to leave his work to the 19th hour has been painful for us, but it’s cut down on arguments and generally he gets his work done. If not, he will suffer the consequences with the school. So that’s a little bit counterintuitive, which is let him wait. Yes, it works for him.
Gretchen
Arianna writes, Hi, I’m a rebel. And I went to college and did great. I made myself reminder schedules, turned in all my assignments on time and graduated cum laude with honors. But my whole life, I thought of myself as a good student. Identity. I was never told to do my homework as a child or anything like that. I just did it.
Gretchen
Clearly, he doesn’t think of himself as a good student, and I can’t imagine someone changing his mind. I wonder if college is even the best place for him. I also think that the consequences the mom foresees in his future are overblown. Sure, as an obliger, she may think that the world is fair and just, but the fact is he may easily skate by on the minimum and do just fine at school and in the workplace.
Gretchen
You see it every day. So that’s a good reminder that sort of the catastrophizing.
Elizabeth
Yeah. Don’t catastrophize. Yeah. Yeah. Lynn said, I am a proud rebel. My 26 year old son is also a rebel. I always seem to get him, whereas my husband an obliger found him perplexing. He graduated from a selective college, which fit his identity as an achiever. He didn’t want to be that guy who was unreliable, nor did he want to be that guy in average classes in school.
Elizabeth
He and I linked closely with our identity. I am now getting my doctorate and feeling overstressed. But when my dean told me I would be the first to receive my doctorate and two certificates when I finished this May, that was the only challenge I needed. My identity is linked to completing tasks I start. I value and identify with having more than meets the eye or being a hidden treasure.
Elizabeth
Possibly the mother asking for advice could glean from her son what his goals and values are related to going off to college. Having him set his identity is key.
Gretchen
Back to identity. Yes, Seema says. My rebel brother struggled as an undergraduate. He usually went to class because he enjoys learning. That had trouble turning in assignments. After some semesters with failed classes, my parents figured out a system where he had to front his own money for college and they would reimburse him for all past classes. This system might help other people.
Gretchen
My brother is now working on his doctorate. Okay. That’s a good consequences.
Elizabeth
Dare said I cannot emphasize this enough. Let him fail. Every rescue attempt by you to save him from natural consequences kicks the lesson down the road. If you don’t want to be having these exact worries for him when he’s 35, let him do it. The world will be his teacher. On this one, not you. That said, I’d read to him exactly what you wrote to the podcast.
Elizabeth
Let him hear your concern then let it go.
Gretchen
And we should say let him fail is in all caps. Yes. Many rebels say this. They say you have to let failure happen. That’s the best way for rebels. Lauren says I’m a rebel with a rebel son. One comment I remember earlier in an episode you talked about rebels and why praise can be a problem. I find that I like some types of praise, but some praise comes off as surprise that I accomplished anything.
Gretchen
For example, my mother will say, Cool or it looks good, but it’s in a very chill tone. I appreciate that. My step mom will say things like, Good for you, or Oh my gosh, that’s amazing. And she says it very loud, like she’s astonished. I don’t like it because it makes me feel like she thought that I couldn’t do something or wouldn’t do something. With my son.
Gretchen
I try to remind him of consequences sometimes in regards to school, like I suggest he studies then I remind him, remember before, when you didn’t study, then you were stressed during your test and disappointed after you didn’t do well. Then after I say the consequence, I leave it alone and let him decide what to do.
Elizabeth
Hard as a parent to do that. Very often very effective.
Gretchen
It’s interesting that so many of these comments are from rebels. They are speaking from the rebel perspective.
Elizabeth
It’s interesting how many people just say do nothing is the most effective thing you can do.
Gretchen
To remind them of their identity. Like, what do you want? Because rebels can do anything they decide they want to do. So it’s like help them dial into that and then consequences. So it’s identity and consequences and understanding how things that work for some people with ADHD might not work for other people with ADHD, which sort of like the good general rule, which is that no tool fits every hand.
Gretchen
But it sounds like it’s particularly useful here. One of the most valuable things is that so many rebels wrote in, because I do feel like because Rebel is the most different from Upholder, Obliger, Questioner. I feel like sometimes the other tendencies don’t get the rebel perspective, so I was really glad that so many rebels weighed in because I do feel like they get it in a way that maybe it’s hard for even when we understand it.
Gretchen
I know for myself, even when I understand it intellectually, it’s not the same thing.
Elizabeth
It’s hard to follow through, but I can only help if I do this. That other thing, even though I won’t. So, yes, Thank you, everybody, for those really great suggestions.
Gretchen
And again, if you’re absolutely puzzled by what the heck we’re talking about. Go to gretchenrubin.com and go to the Explore tab and you can learn all about The Four Tendencies. You can take the word tendencies quiz. You can read a book about The Four Tendencies. There’s more there than you ever want. It’s all at gretchenrubin.com.
Elizabeth
Coming up, I give myself a demerit related to socializing but first this break.
Gretchen
Okay, Elizabeth, Demerits and gold stars. This is an even numbered episode. And that means it’s your turn to talk about a demerit.
Elizabeth
Yes. So Gretch. My demerit is just not being social.
Gretchen
Hmm. That’s surprising you.
Elizabeth
I love to be social. I love talking to people. I love my friends. But I have just not been motivated lately to make any plans whatsoever. So if someone comes after me to make a plan, yeah, I’ll do it. But I haven’t reached out to anyone. The only time I’ve reached out for the last few months, I would say, is if I’m asking someone if they want to hike because that I’m doing.
Elizabeth
And so then I say, Hey, do. And that’s great and that’s wonderful. But I don’t want my only socializing to be that. I don’t know if it’s related to the strike and sort of a feeling of heaviness or if it’s just summer when everyone was away. So it just seemed too hard to plan things. And now I haven’t gotten back on the planning wagon, but I know that gives me a lot of pleasure.
Elizabeth
So I want to do that. And also, it’s not fair to make other people ask me if I want to do things right. It’s to be a good friend. You also need to put yourself out there and plan and invite people over and all of that. So that’s where I am.
Gretchen
Well, one thing is I wonder if a reason that you were inclined to so dramatically up your aim for priming Canyon was that it is associated with to you about the energy of the social because that’s such a big jump to just double from 50 to 100. So you’re like, I need more of that in my life. And I also wonder if part of why the strike might make it hard is there’s so much uncertainty.
Gretchen
And I feel like making plans when things are uncertain. And I have to say is, as your sister, you’ve had many situations where you made lots of elaborate plans that took tons of work and then they all got undone right? That’s very draining. But now we’re at the hundred, and so the summer’s over, People are back, you’re back in routine.
Gretchen
You’ve given yourself the demerit, so you’re focused on it. So now you can use these hundred days to put some plans on the calendar.
Elizabeth
Socialize. Yeah. I’m also thinking when I pick it, there’s a lot of people. So maybe that’s another you know, I see people there and it maybe feels draining to then go deal with making fun.
Gretchen
And it sounds like it’s a very specific social environment. It’s not a typical social environment, I would say a way of engaging with people. So it has some pros, but it’s not like a cocktail party. Sure.
Elizabeth
Yeah. Yeah. But all right, Gretchen, I’m going to try to get that. What is your gold star?
Gretchen
I want to give you a gold star for this retreat. So the Happier in Hollywood retreat. There’s a specific angle to my gold star, which is, you and Sarah were like, Oh, yeah, what about doing a retreat? You casually mention this to me in passing is about thing on the horizon. And the next thing I turn around and there’s this highly designed flyer.
Gretchen
There’s a weekend that had been picked, committing to a date, making plans. It seemed to me like it happened in like a week. And I realized, like, often with things like this, I noodle over them for months and months and months. And why? I don’t know. I mean, you guys just pick the date and move forward and I thought that was so, so remarkable.
Gretchen
And also, like, just looking at the materials, there’s so funny. There’s the inside jokes. It’s not long, but it’s still full of personality. I know how much work writing something like that takes. And I was like, How did they do this so fast?
Elizabeth
Well, thank you. I think part of it probably is being on strike. We like the idea of accomplishing something. Yeah, So I think it helped us.
Gretchen
Action is the antidote to anxiety.
Elizabeth
Yes, Gretch, since you’re bringing it up, I should say, if anybody wants information about the retreat, just email me at happierinhollywood@gmail.com and I can send info. We’re very excited because we’re having it at the Johnny Cash Ranch in Ojai, so it’s going to be very cool. And we still have some spots available.
Gretchen
The resource for this week. I will just repeat that if you’re interested in the Four Tendencies workshop, how to use them at work. We talked about Rebels, The Four Tendencies in school. This is The Four Tendencies in the workplace that is happening September 26. You can find out everything at happiercast.com/workshop. What are we reading, Elizabeth?
Gretchen
What are you reading?
Elizabeth
I’m reading The Club by Ellery Lloyd.
Gretchen
And I’m reading Inside of a Dog by Alexandra Horowitz. And that’s it for this episode of Happier. Remember to try this at home. Start your 100 day countdown. Let us know if you tried it and if it worked for you.
Elizabeth
Thank you to our executive producer, Chuck Reed, and everyone at Cadence 13. Get in touch. Gretchen’s on Instagram at Gretchen Rubin and I am @Liz Craft. Our email address is podcast@gretchenrubin.com.
Gretchen
And if you like the show, please be sure to tell a friend. That’s how most people discover our show.
Elizabeth
Until next week. I’m Elizabeth Craft.
Gretchen
And I’m Gretchen Rubin. Thanks for joining us. Onward and Upward.
Elizabeth
So, Gretch, my question is, are you checking a bag or are you going to carry on to Kansas City?
Gretchen
I think I’m going to carry on. I’m going to use the packing cubes you got me for Christmas so I can pack more into my bag. But I think I can carry on.
Elizabeth
Okay, I’m debating. Mm. Yeah.
Gretchen
From the Onward Project.